mother's heart break
drug addicition is not prejudice, can effect any person, regardless of their status, can become a empty hole, especially for a mother of a young beautiful daughter. People often ask me when did she start,,, I think about that question, and come up with no answer,, because A drug addicitive is so good at lying, and manipulation, that they cover it up,,, I come to realize. Last Monday, she was arrested for tying to steal some ladies purse,, even has a week has gone by I'm still in shock,, the hardest moment came,, is when she ask if I could bail her out,,,, I simply said no I'm sorry, I know with the help of God,, If anything by having her sit in jail,, I'm protectiing her,, from herself! I've surrendered her to God,, after many attempts in trying to help her, I've come to understand,,, she must "want" to help herself,, therefore I asked God to control this situation,, I pray,,
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well after seeing dh in jail,, was deffinetly difficult, but I knda felt a sense of relief,, she actually looked peaceful,, I sit a wonder how a beautiful young girl, that has so much going for her, gets to be this way,,, it\'s so ugly how drugs can just rob someone,,, I take one day at a time,,,I know God is doing is job,, because of the serenity I\'m encountering... Dh is young, if she could just step out of this hole she fell in,,,, we are standing by,, but refuse to fix her problem,,, or hide them,
been awhile,,, you know I look down in that deep hole I\'ve seen you have fallen in,,, I so desperatly just want o hand you the long ladder that\'s in the garage,, but then something stops me,,, oh it\'s God\'s hand telling me,, let her figure out how to climb out,,,your arms are there to hug and love her when she decides to climb out,,,, God tells me,,, it\'s ok,, I have provided her the steps,, but it\'s up to her to use them,,,,i\'ve once again put her in a holding cell,,, she will be warm, provided her with food,,, and when she decides to find her way up those steps,,,, it may take her awhile,,, but let her find her own way,
Hello dear one ~ I can feel the pain you feel... but you are right, God has extended the \"ladder\" of His grace... she needs to climb up to meet Him (my son too). I am most lately praying scripture over my son... this week: Isaiah 55:7... I will add your sweet daughter to my prayer according to scripture. Blessings, Kim
It was good seeing you my beautiful child,,, you actually showed emmtion this time,,usually I\'m the one crying my eyes out,,, I do believe those were real tears,,,, I do believe sweet child you have reach your lowest point,, you said you feel alone,,, your never alone,has I told you,,, I love \"you\" so much and will always be there to hug,laugh, and pray for you,,, I did say that I hate the addicition and what it has to you,,,,,, quit wishing things could be different,,, grab it, you have so much life ahead of you,,,, Your here in this cell, becasue God is keeping you safe,, in return love,, redeem yourself to Him,,,,,love you sweet pea!
just having one those moments,,, sometimes over=come me,,, I miss you dear one,, I know your safe,,, not exactly where I would of ever thought you would be sitting,,, really hoping you find your peace, dear child you have got to realize that you can\'t keep living this life,,, Part of me just wants to beat you up, and then there is the other part that just wants to take you in my arms, hug you,,,, I\'ll never turn my back on you, will always love you,,, but please find the strength to change your life around,,,surrender yourself into God\"s arms,,, listen, and follow His lead,,,,and let Him shield you from satan... love you sweet pea
I sit in court, watching you stand and awaite your sentencing, be strong, you can get through this,,,, the one that will lead you out of this \"wilderness\" is God,,,, but you have to allow God into your life,,
you called today,,, and I hear your voice,,, I thank God that He keeps you safe,,,I hope some day you will find peace. As i hang up,,, I tell you I love you, and hope your fine,,,,,,,, quit honestly sweet pea,, I hope you realize that you have a life filled with lots of love,,, your daughter needs you,, yes she is doing great,,, but your her mom,,, not me,,,,, I pray that you find God,,, He is there honey, waiting for you do accept Him.... Love you,, can\'t to see your beautiful face,, on Monday,,, love you
hi honey, it was great to see you,,,, thought it went well with ava,,,, she misses you so much,,,,your recovery is so important, not just for you, but for your kids,,,, your young,, I know if you just let God into your soul,,, you will find the strength,,,,, Ava\"s prayer tonight was.... Dear God, please make my mommy better!
Amen...
my beautiful daughter,, tomorrow we will find out what God\"s plans are,,,, if your meant to come out of jail,, you will,,, I\'m hoping you realize that when you get out,, it\'s not like one of those \"fairy tail stories\",, reality is going to hit you... you have been sitting in jail,, with alot of time on your hands to think,, well,, honey,, no one said life is easy,, have to cope, can\'t run away,,, your support group is here for you,, and we are all in place,, can\'t change the past,,, what you is what you did,, although you will have to earn \"trust\" from us ,,,, you have to get out of this tunnel your in,,, so proud you have not used in 37days,, but it\'s becasue it was not available for you to get,,, there are boundaries,,, a contract you must sign,,, I\'m not going to allow myself to become a victim again to your addicition,,, we have agreed to let you back in the house,,, I\'m going to detach my self from your addicition,, and reconnect with you my beautiful daughter,,, to be honest not every one is goiing to just open their arms to you,, but you have to gain their trust,, and perhaps prove,,, not only to others,, but yourself,, your going to stay clean,,, we are giving you this chance,,, but it\'s your choice what you do with it,,, love you with all my heart,,,, what happens tomorrow is all in God\'s hands,, if he wants you out,, then God will bail you out,,,
my love,, God once again,, answered my prayers... I know you think 33 more days is long, but honey,, 90 days,,, not using,, how awesome,,,, truthfully I have concerns when your relased,,, are you ready to confront your demons,,, we have set up different options that not only may work for you,, but the rest of us,,, I love you,,, in the next 33 days,, allow God to come into your soul,,,
was hoping you where comining home soon,,, but I guess God had a different plan,,,, my heart feels for you my love,,, but my anger kind of over whelms me right now,,, when is this fucking ride going to stop kate...I pray to God,, you get it,,, your mad becasue they did not relase you,, well,, come on,, you have to be held for your consquences,,,sorry, my love,,, I know,, this is not you when your sober,,,, but let me tell you what you have put me through has an addicit,,, you crush my heart,,,I love your daughter,, and so glad, I\'m able to be here for her,,, but I\'m the grandma,,, not suppose to raise her,,, you mention today being in jail is hard,,,, yea your right,,, right now katelin,, that judge gave you another chance,,,, take it,,, start,, embracing a new life,,, Ask jesus to take the wheel,,,, love you,,, I will be standing at the end with open arms,,,, believe in yourself, love you
my middle son has been in our county jail since January 2012...He is completing his sentence for trying to rob a Walgreens Pharmacy demanding Oxycotin pills...He is in the Trustee program there and it is not so bad...He has dropped 40 lbs...has really built his body up with daily workouts...He reads a lot...Hasn\'t smoked, drank or drugged for 4 months...has a twinkle in his eye and positive sense of himself...Pretty soon he will transferred to a work/release rehab program in which he is still incarcerated but gets to work outside during the day and then comes back to facility...Why am I telling you this because right now Jail is about the safest place for your daughter...Her addiction has her completely enslaved...better to enslaved in a safe environment and not on the streets. Before my son was sentenced I bailed him out and he was home for 8 months before he was sentenced...Those 8 months were complete hell. It was all I could do to keep him from going completely sideways...He would sneak out and dissappear from a few days and then show up in a cab all beaten up...so bad that I had to rush him to the ER....that is just one incident...there were so many !! I almost lost my mind and because of the turmoil he caused at home it would induce seizures in my youngest son who is an epileptic and a recovering addict also. Now she is going to get help and she is mentally clear enough to want it and accept it...Angels my friend are flapping their wings all around you and your daughter...feel the breeze..I just pray that our children will never have to experience what we have as parents with their own children.
My dearest daughter,,,,
I\'m waiting once again for your release, from your kidnapper \"herion\" I refuse to give up, and know one day you will break free from the chains that hold you do tightly,,, if only you would look up and reach for God\'s hand he holds that key that will break you free,,,,, I don\'t undrstand how you walked away from the ones that love you , to world that is so dark , I will always stand by shinning a light. So when your ready to surrender you will find your way home, I\'ve done whatever I could, and will continue to do whatever to beat this devil,,,
The day I held you in my arms for the first time, I was so proud of what I created, I continue to hold you close to my heart ,,
Release my dear child, fight,,, I will always be your mom,,, and forever know that where ever you may be, that close your eyes, and feel my arms wrapped around you ,,,, I love you, my sweet angel, be safe
I pray in my deepest sincerity. I understand the pain and the never ending love. God Bless