Mother's Day

My mother passed away in 1996. I celebrate Mother's Day with my Stepmom, and all my relatives who are mothers.

I woke up this morning and my mood started amping up a great deal. Then I suddenly drew in my energies

and kind of went stoic about my life, day and tasks ahead. I don't know why but I feel so lonely and depressed.

The stoicism has cut me off from the immediate state of being and it's like I am just in my head.

I went for a walk to the market to buy a mother's day gift for my sister.. Bought my stepmom her gift yesterday.
Flowers for both in little pots.

This journal isn't so much an organized thought. Rather it's about releasing some energy inside that is building up

and needs venting. I go to my parents' house at 1045a. I'll be glad to go - but I also feel like being alone. It's so strange. I feel like a ball of contradictory mixes. I wish I had someone here. I'll just chill on the couch for a bit.