Morning mind, any suggestions ?
I took the night off from services last night. One thing I don’t like about that is that I feel childish to try and squeeze in ‘me time’ whenever I can. I feel like a cheater and childish seeking approval and then getting as much as I want and need.
This morning I woke up feeling amorphous and muddy with my mind attacking me. We've talked about this Arfie (that pestering mind). I’m realizing now that I need to firm myself up and give things the thoughtful standard that I hope for. It’s one way of dealing with the vagueness of just my morning state of mind. I don’t know, any suggestions?
Just writing this journal helps.
Replies
Maybe it has to do with that ‘whole world’ aspect of things that I grew up with. So used to having a focus of an external truth of the other. I guess I’m learning to mitigate that inclination and define my own life and emotions amongst others .
Time alone is just as important to self care. When you are providing services for everyone else, you still need to take care of your own service and reflection. That takes time.
It's hard to separate self care when service is communicated in such a way that it's not really considered by others.
Here's to you, keep on "keeping on".
Thanks Mid!
Self care is so important, like Mid said. You are not being selfish by taking care of YOU because you have to take care of you before you can serve another. When you say your mind is attacking you, imho that's guilt and you gotta let go of that. You are a good human being with a heart of gold and you need to keep reminding yourself of that....Hugs
God Bless
I agree with what others have said
You can't give what you don't have
So self care is so important when you want to be there for other's
Otherwise people burn out
thanks bob and jan. I appreciate you guys. I am done for the night. Just got a load of laundry in the dryer.
I'm tired. Sometimes it feels like they're having me do a ton of work here. I know though every one is working.
Rather than draw some ultimate conclusion about myself tonight - I am just going to relax and take good care.
It's like living in a parallel world here to the mainstream. It troubles me, I'm tired. I find myself letting go -
and forgetting about myself and controlling the direction of my life. I don't understand where I am going.
I'm learning more and more about doing the services. I am getting new instructions from every new priest that
comes through here. It's confusing but also educational. Gratefully a priest I really like from Switzerland is visiting for a couple of days.
He makes me feel so safe and explains stuff so well. So I am grateful for the day and I am grateful Father C is here.
I hope you guys have a good night. I'm gonna go snuggle with Blue and watch PBS. :)Thanks again for your supportive
comments and comradery! xx
when i am feeling childish, i deliberately do childish things. fun preferred, but i am not above throwing a 2 year old style temper tantrum in a board meeting. the tantrum provides comic relief and often summarizes the situation more effectively than a presidential address.
when i attempt to repress that childish feeling it typically emerges unexpectedly in sulking idiocy. getting deliberate about it puts me in the driver's seat.
Thanks Arfie!