morning chatter
I realized today that for all the issues I seem to get flustered about
with my parents - I know I love them - and I know they love me and I can't ask them to be perfect
when I know I am not perfect and it would seem weird too that I would ask them to fill me up with so much
in emotional life -
when it is my turn in life to fill my own life up - and that maybe the irritation is just the reality
that pushes me to create my own group of people I am responsible for -
as much as when I am on my own - I know also my energy besieges me -
and I know I have to consciously relax. Then my relaxation time will be fulfilling and seen (not just blindly pass).
Those bombardments seem like a chewing gum (an image used today during trapeza in a similar context)
to reinforce and to know what my status quo is - but it's blinding
and it's not a good practice.
I thought about building my own team and I do feel like I have the rudiments of that.
I think the 'notion of grace' in which to live one's life is maybe a factor by which we 'check in' to ourselves and it gives us a kind of road map and energy - or reinforcement
and fortification
but I also know life is not just about grace it's about keeping up the team. The values.
they actually talked about 'grace' in the morning readings today (during trapeza)
as being healing. That is true - as well they talked about it as 'giving energy.'
This is true too.
Replies
Big hug sweetie...... I'm glad that you're getting so much out of your morning readings and that they're answering questions for you that give you peace of mind... xo
thanks Janet!
I also realized that my invasive thought when I drive may be about me checking in with others, and so affirmations. When I was first driving as a kid I would check the rear view mirror a lot when I was driving. As in ‘an I still here?’ Now I kind of see after I was told 'I know what it’s all about' (by the abbess) that indeed it’s affirmation and I can see how life can influence as we grow up, that sticking our necks out there to do something new and or independent, if met with mistakes or punishment we may automatically conclude without consciousness nearly like : ’well I won’t do that!'