Sitting here it's Friday morning,morning are the worst for me. Every day I deal with some health issue today is meniere's, yesterday was acid reflux the day before fibromyalgia, not many days free,then every day is facing the passing of my Denise. I look out side and see the leaves falling ,why can the tree's die and flowers die and yet every year they come back. I know some people feel were be with our children again and it gets them through and that's great for them. I believe in God and he gave us life ,but I do not believe I will every see my daughter again,I believe when we get to heaven we will all be happy and love each other but we will all be the same and no relations that is just my believe. So living out my life with the thought I will never see her again is all most unbearable. But I go on some how and pray for some peace. I used to love fall and Christmas and now I dread them for they bring back the realization My family will never be hole. Sorry I do not want to bring any one down I am just expressing my feeling right now. I am a very lonely person who sit alone 10 hours a day . I went to see a new counselor last week ,I hope it helps ,but I tryed so many for 20 years, my anxiety gets very bad this time of year. I always wish the bst for every one and would help any one I could. I took in foster kids for awhile that was rewarding,but when my health got bad I can not do that or even volunter any more.But God will get me through .