More triggers

Dear DS diary,
I am honestly getting sick and tired of breaking news leads.  In my current condition it is not taking much for me to feel very vulnerable.
The latest one came today with that shooting at a U.S. Navy complex in Washington, D.C.  13 dead, another dozen or so hurt...and the last I heard they still weren't sure all the shooters had been accounted for (one is dead but there is believed to be a second).
As if I needed any more convincing that for me the world is not a safe place to be...(sigh)...all I can say about it is that I really hope I get to that center or to a center that can help with my myriad of issues soon.  I really just can't handle this.  I just can't.  It's all too much.
On a different front: Finally reached my breaking point on my PCC exam study guide last night.  Now it's mostly a vocabulary review party, using a whole bunch of interactive study sites (mostly with books I took my courses with) with the intention of taking a practice exam the Saturday before it takes place on 10/3.  My stamina hasn't been holding up so this is not a surprise at all.  I knew I was going to break.  It was just a matter of when, and I'm nowhere near equipped enough to deal with it.
I notice there are messages waiting for me from a couple of people...I'll get to you tomorrow night.  I promise.