More tests
I haven't felt like journaling for a few weeks. Sometimes I think some things are better left unsaid. I've been depressed lately especially the past few days. I had a few decent days and then yesterday I wake up dizzy and nauseous. The car sick feeling. I hate it. I woke up that way. I'll assume it's a POTS flare up. I took a zofran which helped a little. I cried off and on. John was supportive. Today I woke up with a migraine. I don't get what I'm doing differently that's causing me to feel like complete shit again. Mom thinks it's the barameter. I have no idea. I try to limit my sugar intake and the day before I had a cookie. I doubt one freaking cookie would cause a flare up.
Tomorrow I go for an EMG. It's a nerve test I think. Dr.Allen ordered it because of the pain and numbness I get in my hands and legs. I read about it online and it doesn't sound pleasant. It looks like it's done by a neurologist according to the paperwork I filled out today. Mom is taking me and the air in her car is broke. The ride is not going to be pleasant. I should be grateful I have a ride though.
I should be grateful for what I have not what I don't. However my mind keeps going back to everything I lost and everything I can't do. I really want to go to the tennis tournament this week. Thanks to POTS I can't sit in the heat. Plus I can't afford it. My t doc encouraged me to watch it on tv. I don't think she completely understood how much it meant to me. I've wanted to see Roger Federer forever. It's kind of a bucket list thing. My friend is going but I can't. I get that she wants me to focus on what I can do not can't but right now that's almost nothing. This is not the life I want. I'm so over not feeling good.
Tomorrow I go for an EMG. It's a nerve test I think. Dr.Allen ordered it because of the pain and numbness I get in my hands and legs. I read about it online and it doesn't sound pleasant. It looks like it's done by a neurologist according to the paperwork I filled out today. Mom is taking me and the air in her car is broke. The ride is not going to be pleasant. I should be grateful I have a ride though.
I should be grateful for what I have not what I don't. However my mind keeps going back to everything I lost and everything I can't do. I really want to go to the tennis tournament this week. Thanks to POTS I can't sit in the heat. Plus I can't afford it. My t doc encouraged me to watch it on tv. I don't think she completely understood how much it meant to me. I've wanted to see Roger Federer forever. It's kind of a bucket list thing. My friend is going but I can't. I get that she wants me to focus on what I can do not can't but right now that's almost nothing. This is not the life I want. I'm so over not feeling good.
Replies
I\'ve been feeling, physically, very, very similar lately. There are usually a few weeks in the summer when I feel this bad, and the POTS is this bad. It does go away though when the weather gets a little cooler.
Good luck with the test.
Please don\'t beat yourself up for not being grateful. Ofc you are caught up in what\'s been lost!! It makes sense, and it\'s an ok place to be. I go through spells where I feel the same way, and my t reminds me that a lot has changed, and I\'m going to mourn it off and on, and that\'s ok.
Lots of love and hugs!!
Being grateful for the things we have in life, rather than focusing on the things lacking, is a wonderful way to re-balance yourself. I know you\'re not feeling well physically OR emotionally and that is just plain awful. I\'m sorry, Reds.
I\'ve had an EMG (I\'m not sure what it stands for) for nerve testing before and from what I remember, it didn\'t hurt at all. Did they tell you it would? Try and relax, put on some soothing music, take care of your body and your mind will follow suit. I sending you big hugs! Feel better, Reds!