More Salt in My Open Wound
Thank you all so much for the wonderful support yesterday! I think writing journals is going to really help keep me sane right now, but even more than that, all of your loving and kind words and thoughts. I am feeling ok today, but I have to vent about something. As if I'm not already so angry about my mc, but why must I feel like there is constantly salt and lemon juice being poured in my open wound!? I mentioned a few times that I have a coworker who sits in the office right next to mine who is about 14 or 15 weeks pregnant now and I have to constantly hear prego talk. It's her 1st baby, she is 36 and whines about how amazing it was they conceived after only 2 months since she is 'so old'. Ugh. Ok, so that's bad enough right (especially considering I'm even older than her)?! Today she comes in and apparantly there was a scare that her baby could have cystic fibrosis since both her and her DH are carriers. I get that this is a very real and difficult concern, and I feel bad she has had to stress out over this. This morning she got the call from her doctor that all is ok, which is a huge relief I know and I'm happy to hear that. BUT, what I don't need to hear is the last 2 hours of her telling every coworker and everyone on the phone about this. She has experienced 1/8th of the panic and worry we IF'ers worry about for each sono and each step of the way, and hearing her talk about her terribly stressful time somehow makes me very very upset. Again, I am happy her baby is ok and I wish her a healthy pregnancy, but listening to her talk about it is worse than nails on the chalkboard. Today is 3 weeks since my miscarriage, and the timing here could not be worse. I finally shut my office door because I just couldn't take it anymore, after taking 2 coffee breaks and leaving my office, but I can't work for the next 7 months with my office door closed or sneak out all day long. This is hard enough, why the hell does the universe decide that I have to sit right next to a woman who is prego after I just lost my baby!?!? As if all of this isn't unfair enough, I have to deal with this?!?!?! I guess there are forces out there that seem to really want to test me and think I'm a lot stronger because this is just ridiculous. Aaargh, I just want to scream.
Replies
It definetly is ridiculous. I am so sorry. You shouldn\'t have to deal with this, she should be more sensitive. Hang in there and always feel free to text me I am here for you.
I say you keep your door closed as much as you can. My door is closed as i write this and has been since the day I came back to work after miscarrying. YOU make the rules for how you recover from this. yes, you CAN spend the next 7 months with your door closed. Also, I listen to pandora on my computer. find a station you like and let it play, so as to distract you just a little. You can do this. xoxox
I hear ya! My coworker two cubes away announced her pregnancy just a few weeks after I started. Now that she knows she is having a girl my boss has been bringing in tons of her baby stuff to give to her. Happy for her but gezzzzz... I agree with their advice, keep your door closed, music turned up!
Ugh- why does it seem like the universe is playing such a cruel joke on us???
Sorry you\'re dealing with this. I agree with the other ladies, blast Pandora and keep your door closed as often as you need to.
Thank you all. Unfortunately, even with my door closed, I can hear her through the wall!!! Aargh. Plus, I\'m not really supposed to keep my door closed all the time and really not supposed to wear headphones/music. So I\'m kinda in a sucky position all around here.
I don\'t know why people aren\'t more sensitive. It should be her closing her door since it is a personal conversation and the entire office shouldn\'t have to hear about it. I would\'ve closed my door if I were you too. I\'m so sorry you are going through this.
I am so sorry you still grieving your own loss and being forced to listen to her babble on. I get that she was worried and upset but good golly, life needs to cut you some slack and give your heart a rest.
I wouldn\'t want to wish illness on a preggo lady so I\'ll be praying that she just gets a case laryngitis and can\'t talk for the next week!
It\'s not fair. I fucking hate infertility, miscarriage, and all reminders of either of them. I too sit in an office next to a preggo. She knows what I am going through. This is the 2nd baby for her in the time I have struggled for one. A week after she announced the pregnancy she asked me if I hate her and I said no but I didn\'t care to hear her complain about the pregnancy ever. Problem is she still does. So I too keep my door closed. I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Thinking of you and praying for you. xoxoxo
Hey, I\'m sorry that you have to hear the chatter of preggo talk. I know it must be so hard. Maybe it will die down after a while. Still, I know it\'s hard to concentrate. Did she know you had a miscarriage? Just wondering...
Only my boss and another coworker/friend knows about my miscarriage and they will not tell anyone. I\'m starting to wonder if I should say something so I can get some more sensitivity at work....
wow. How rude and insensitive of your coworker. I think we could come up w/ a simple solution. We could take turns punching her in the face, because clearly she\'s too dense to take a hint. I wish you would be able to move offices or something, because that sounds like cruel and unusual punishment. I\'m so sorry you have to deal with this!!
So sorry you\'re having to listen to that. I really hope that she learns to close her door more often when she is talking. I would be even better if you had a remote for her with a mute button ;) sending prayers and hugs your way!
You are a very strong woman and just remember that. You have gone through this horrible and traumatic experince with grace and I know that you feel your patience is being tested daily. Does this lady even know a bit of what you are going through? If so, shame on her. I\'m all for being happy about your baby but you also have to take in account what people are going through around you. If she\'s bragging while she knows you had a MC, she\'s an evil person. Just hang in there, hopefully your closed office door will be some kind of hint!
Telling ppl is up to you. I told a couple ppl only, not all...because ppl start asking if you are trying again which is tough. Still, you may want to tell her to shut her up just a little since headphones are not an option.
Now I\'m hearing all about prenatal vitamins and cravings between her and another coworker. OMG how am I going to get through til March!?