more room to dream

I guess I am suggesting something a little bit dangerous.

At work today the concept of survivalism really cemented itself

in my mind. It was front and center - reminding myself that I needed

to 'stay in my own lane' while working - and to not let the bad politics

derail me from the task at hand - or let it incite me to quit.

I've got to take care of life and though I'd like to work somewhere else

I also realize the realities of my thanks for this job.

Everyone has their way of doing things and rather than misconstrue someone's

intentions - maybe just remind myself 'we're at work' and in professional life we're all really

kind of surviving - and we all have our ways of doing things. In a way it makes

me want to go back to the monastery. I mean even then and there, there would be politics.

So maybe rather than dive into a refugre somewhere 'not here' - maybe I can make room

to dream right now that I am safe at my apartment and it's the start of the weekend.

My life doesn't need to fit an iconic super responsible form just now - at least for today - 

I do want to survive - I don't want to be a joker about life -

I kind of need some room to dream and maybe doing that I can allow myself to regroup

and better survive...more room to dream.