more realization of how fucked up i am

i just joined the sex/porn support group. being single is very hard considering not only did i give her my love but i also trusted her fully sexually which isnt easy for me to do. i have a fetish that for me is humiliating to tell people.i look at porn constantly and i know its unhealthy. although i have never paid or will pay for porn,i still look at it a little too much.sometimes its even just to watch it not even to masterbate. wow i sound like a crazy depraived sex offender. writing this journal entry makes me feel really dirty.