More pressure.

I keep writing journals. But, writing these is keeping me from not hurting myself. I just write down how I feel and it helps most of the time. I'm just crying so much right now and just don't know what to do. I wish I could escape from my body and I wish I could just curl up and cry all day.
This pressure in my head always spreads down to my whole body until this whole thing wears off. It never completly goes away. It just dulls itself down. I'm just rocking back and forth waiting for this pain to go away. Curled up in the corner of my room, crying.
I feel really alone and no one cares to understand this at all. No one cares to understand how severe my depression is. It's a serious thing that people just think is an emotion you go through when you're sad. But, I can't snap out of this. It effects what I do and everything. I'm tired of the pain my body and my mind feels. They are both constantly screaming at me. My body is the one that is suffereing the most. There's bruises and marks and scars on it that my mind makes me do sometimes. I've stopped for the time being. But, I'm afraid that I'l do it again.
It's like communicating with someone else. Like communicating with myself, but I can't control what they do. I can't trust being around them when I'm alone.