More phone calls from my brother.
Did I mention before that I was having to get al lthe things wrong withmy sisters house fixed for her. Well I am. This is a lot of work and I have to hire people to do lots of it. My brother calls me everytime he finds something wrong with the house. He even calls about little things or things I already have plans to fix and have shown him the list. He calls me to tell me about them and then tells me he can try and fix them.
My problem is, why tell me? Why doesn't he just fix a problem he can fix when he finds it?
One of the things needed fixing was new linoleum for the bathrooms and some repair to the floor. I got a friend's friend to do the work but he wasn't doing it very well so I told him I would hire someone to do it. So the bathroom was left unfinished and my brother looked at it and tells me how the job being done is all messed up telling me in detail all the things I already know. So, finally, he says he knows someone that can do it that has lots of experience and will do it right. So I let my brother call him and hire hi8m. Now it is finished and looks to be a good job but my brother has found some things wrong mainly with the plumbing connections which they had to take apart to do the floors and calls me to get them to come back to look at it and fix it. I tell him that he has to do it because I don't even have the person's phone number because he got him. My brother had forgot that he was the one to get him.
I kinda thought something would be wrong and that is why I let my brother get his guy so he couldn't blame me for it this time.
Another thing is he keeps complaining to me about one of the women that helps my sister. She is according to him not giving her all the hours she is supposed to and is not doing all the work she is supposed to, I agree at times she does slack off and does not get everything done or needs to do soemthing with her kids or family and misses some hours but I don't get why he is telling me. I'm not her watcher or boss or for that matter my sister's either, beyond what any good brother would do to see that their sister isn't hurt or taken advantage of but this is the same woman that has been with her for many years and even when my parents were living there with my sister and she had always been like this. She loves my sister and would never harm her and I don't see where it is my brothers business again beyond protecting his sister, and even more so why he has to try and make it my business.
His latest thing is that I don't visit my sister enough. I don't know why he visits her so much. She has someone over there with her 50% of the time while she isn't sleeping. I used to visit on Wednesdays and Saturdays but now she has another person coming in the afternoon or evenings to spend time with her and my sister doesn't do well when there is more than one person there. She wants to be the center of attention and doesn't like it when the other two talk to each other. So I have stopped going But I visit her every Sunday and take her to Church and usually spend the day with her until around 4. so from 8:30 to 4 every Sunday. He drops in for fifteen minutes to a half hour a few times a week and complains I am not visiting her enough because I don't come three times a week and spend four or more hours with her each time. But she does have someone else there so it is not like I'm leaving her alone.
I explained this to him and he tells me that she stays up till 10 usually so I can visit after the girl that comes leaves and be there till she goes to bed. I don't know what to say about this. I'm not going to go and spend my evenings with her from 8-10 every night. I had to stay with her over night not sleeping in her uncomfortable guest bed that smelled like pee for a month and a half when my parents were in the nursing home before they died but her social workers said that this wasn't needed and so I stopped.
I think this is another way my brother is trying to control things. he is working counter to everyone else who is trying to help my sister be more self sufficient and learn to stay on her own and care for her self as much as possible. But then he comes around and treats her like a complete idiot she can't do anything and must have someone there with her watching out for her at all times and it confuses her and sets her back with everything others are trying to teach her.
I can't tell him this or at least I can't continue to keep telling him this, I have told him but he doesn't listen or doesn't consider what others tell him and does what he likes for whatever reasons be it actual worry and caring for my sister to gain some kind of control for what ever he thinks it will get him.
But, all in all, it isn't bothering me as much beyond the intrusive ringing of the phone. I talk to my brother as little as possible and let him speak his piece and then get on with life. I do worry about how it may keep messing with my sister. Perhaps I should talk to her case worker and have her do something about it if she agrees with me and get my brother off my sister and everyone else's case. They have spoken to him before and told him he cna't keep going over and bothering her but he ignores it and my sister loves him and fears him too much to say anything about it or when she does carry thru with what is needed to get him from causing trouble. Maybe it is time for the actual guardians and authorities over my sister to do something.
Still feeling good with the only problems of renting the house and same ol' brother bothering me.
Personally, I need to exercise more and eat a little better and be more patient with my sister. Otherwise, I'm feeling pretty good about myself.
My problem is, why tell me? Why doesn't he just fix a problem he can fix when he finds it?
One of the things needed fixing was new linoleum for the bathrooms and some repair to the floor. I got a friend's friend to do the work but he wasn't doing it very well so I told him I would hire someone to do it. So the bathroom was left unfinished and my brother looked at it and tells me how the job being done is all messed up telling me in detail all the things I already know. So, finally, he says he knows someone that can do it that has lots of experience and will do it right. So I let my brother call him and hire hi8m. Now it is finished and looks to be a good job but my brother has found some things wrong mainly with the plumbing connections which they had to take apart to do the floors and calls me to get them to come back to look at it and fix it. I tell him that he has to do it because I don't even have the person's phone number because he got him. My brother had forgot that he was the one to get him.
I kinda thought something would be wrong and that is why I let my brother get his guy so he couldn't blame me for it this time.
Another thing is he keeps complaining to me about one of the women that helps my sister. She is according to him not giving her all the hours she is supposed to and is not doing all the work she is supposed to, I agree at times she does slack off and does not get everything done or needs to do soemthing with her kids or family and misses some hours but I don't get why he is telling me. I'm not her watcher or boss or for that matter my sister's either, beyond what any good brother would do to see that their sister isn't hurt or taken advantage of but this is the same woman that has been with her for many years and even when my parents were living there with my sister and she had always been like this. She loves my sister and would never harm her and I don't see where it is my brothers business again beyond protecting his sister, and even more so why he has to try and make it my business.
His latest thing is that I don't visit my sister enough. I don't know why he visits her so much. She has someone over there with her 50% of the time while she isn't sleeping. I used to visit on Wednesdays and Saturdays but now she has another person coming in the afternoon or evenings to spend time with her and my sister doesn't do well when there is more than one person there. She wants to be the center of attention and doesn't like it when the other two talk to each other. So I have stopped going But I visit her every Sunday and take her to Church and usually spend the day with her until around 4. so from 8:30 to 4 every Sunday. He drops in for fifteen minutes to a half hour a few times a week and complains I am not visiting her enough because I don't come three times a week and spend four or more hours with her each time. But she does have someone else there so it is not like I'm leaving her alone.
I explained this to him and he tells me that she stays up till 10 usually so I can visit after the girl that comes leaves and be there till she goes to bed. I don't know what to say about this. I'm not going to go and spend my evenings with her from 8-10 every night. I had to stay with her over night not sleeping in her uncomfortable guest bed that smelled like pee for a month and a half when my parents were in the nursing home before they died but her social workers said that this wasn't needed and so I stopped.
I think this is another way my brother is trying to control things. he is working counter to everyone else who is trying to help my sister be more self sufficient and learn to stay on her own and care for her self as much as possible. But then he comes around and treats her like a complete idiot she can't do anything and must have someone there with her watching out for her at all times and it confuses her and sets her back with everything others are trying to teach her.
I can't tell him this or at least I can't continue to keep telling him this, I have told him but he doesn't listen or doesn't consider what others tell him and does what he likes for whatever reasons be it actual worry and caring for my sister to gain some kind of control for what ever he thinks it will get him.
But, all in all, it isn't bothering me as much beyond the intrusive ringing of the phone. I talk to my brother as little as possible and let him speak his piece and then get on with life. I do worry about how it may keep messing with my sister. Perhaps I should talk to her case worker and have her do something about it if she agrees with me and get my brother off my sister and everyone else's case. They have spoken to him before and told him he cna't keep going over and bothering her but he ignores it and my sister loves him and fears him too much to say anything about it or when she does carry thru with what is needed to get him from causing trouble. Maybe it is time for the actual guardians and authorities over my sister to do something.
Still feeling good with the only problems of renting the house and same ol' brother bothering me.
Personally, I need to exercise more and eat a little better and be more patient with my sister. Otherwise, I'm feeling pretty good about myself.
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