more morning scribbles

I woke this morning mighty early..tried to get back to sleep but finally, relented and got

up and finished cleaning the house in preparation for a Christmas Eve guest. The place

was cleaned and then went to the local Starbucks for a cup of Hot Chocolate at 515am or so.

Then went over to the Ralph's grocery store and bought some provisions and then came home.

It's stilll pretty dark out at 642 am - but I think that's probably because of the rain clouds.

It rained all night long and is still sprinkling now and then.

It's weird how in the solitude you can question the big questions of life when you are alone

and solitary. I thought about religion today as I brought a book called "The Way of a Pilgrim" that

my friend the Abbess gave to me. I read just a few lines but couldn't bring myself to 'dive in.'

I felt guilty, and wondered why I couldn't do it. The folks at the Starbucks were super friendly

in the nearly empty shop at that time this morning. I love the buzz of activity and fellowship that 

was there and felt the spirit..

I started to think about this book and then felt so removed from what was going on around - and 

that aspect of how religiousness impacts me I don't understand and like. I felt more compassionate

and friendly and a part of things before I started to read that book.

Anyways, I thought maybe it was a way of marking the quality of our lives...That must sound weird and

maybe I shouldn't express it - or explain it - but my interactions with others is what makes me feel alright

about my life - and then the religiousness takes me out of that into a kind of stern solitary place.

Sorry this post is disorganized. Just deep breaths and hope for the best..I feel good about my life

even if there are moments that can be not so value feeling. I know we've got to pump ourselves

up and keep on keeping on. Hold fast to our relationships and keep surviving!!! Peace!! Happy Holidays!!