More MIL Madness

My own mother has angina. She was diagnosed with it when I was about twelve. My father suffered from sleep apnea and a heart arrythmia.  It eventually killed him when I was seven years old.  His heart stopped while out on a job.  I was born with a weak heart that does not beat steady, as such, I take an asprin a day, I have since age ten, and my limbs are prone to falling asleep without warning.  I can be walking down the mall and my leg will fall asleep!  I've learned how to cope with it.
 
So I know a little bit about heart problems.
 
Joey's mom has recentley been diagnosed with high blood pressure and they think she may have a heart condition.  So she has to go for a whack of tests over the next six months to determine exactly what is wrong.  The woman drives me batty, but I do care about her in my own way, and I am sad that she is sick.
 
But she is making it out like death.  She acts like we should cater to her, in our actions, thoughts, and ideas, just because she is sick. 
 
Joeys sister, and her boyfriend(who is turkish) were down this weekend.  He eats alot of salt, it's how he was raised, and she lectured him on his salt intake, and she said she would know, due to Joey's kidney transplant and her heart problems.  She made sure to talk very loudly so I could hear her, about how Joey has to be careful what he eats.  How he only gets fed things from a box and it's not worth his kidney.
 
Ok, I'll admit, I'm a terrible cook, and at one point I did make lots from a box.  But now I don't.  I havent made instant mashed potatoes in two years!  We usually eat veggies that are fresh, then cut up, then cooked.  Not canned or frozen.  I don't cook with salt.  I can't control everything he puts in his mouth.  But for the five years I have known her she has ragged on me, passivley, about how my cooking is going to cause Joey's kidney to go south.  If he get's ill, and he has, he's been hospitalized a few times due to flucuating levels, she blames me.  The worst time he was hospitalized the doctor asked ME what his diet was like.  So I started to answer and my MIL cuts in and says 'oh, he only eats processes, salty, foods.  Nothing homemade.'  I was pissed, and I corrected her to the doctor, but seriously!
 
And, she has gotten it into her head that Marlow is excessivley pale.  She raises two of her grandsons, and one has recentley been put on iron drops, so she thinks she is an expert in vitamin deficency.  Marlow is pale, but she has always been fairskinned, it rained for three months of our four month warm weather, and it's been snowing so hard we haven't seen the sun in almost a month!  She doesn't eat meat, Marlow, but I feed her beans, eggs, peanut butter, and we are going to introduce tofu.  But my MIL claims she must be sick and I should go demand she get blood work done.
 
She's a healthy little girl, and I don't see anything wrong.  She's active, happy, eats enough(though my MIL also accusses me of not feeding her enough) and she isn't paler then Joey was when he was a baby! 
 
I'm so tired of her being so underhanded and mean.  And Joey chooses not to see it because he's grown up pretending not to hear his mother's mean comments.  He tells me to just brush it off, or he tells me I'm hearing things the wrong way.  But I think it's because he's so used to it! 
 
I'm tired of her blaming Joey's diet on me.  I'm tired of her telling me that my daughter is sick and that by not rushing her to the doctor at the drop of a pin and demanding blood work and tests I'm a bad mom.  I'm tired of her feeding Marlow things right after I tell her that Marlow does not need anything else.  She's good at that, because she thinks I underfeed my daughter.
 
Marlow eats with a spoon and a fork at fifteen months.  Sure, she spills and sure she misses her mouth sometimes.  But I make sure she has enough!  Last night we went to a buffet.  Marlow ate about fifteen fries, three pieces of broccoli, some sort of veggie wrap thing that her aunt gave her, some soup, about four cucumber slices, two peices of jello, and some ice cream.  Then, while we were waiting for other's to finish, she snaked chow mein and fried rice off of her cousins plate. 
 
We get back to the in laws place and the first thing my MIL says is to Marlow.  She says 'oh, you must be starving!  mommy probably didn't feed you enough.'  Excuse me!!!  Plus, I may make an offhand comment like 'Mar's always in the cupboards' with a laugh and my MIL will say, 'oh that's what baby's do!'  But she says it like she was responding to a complaint, and I wasn't complaining.  And she says it to EVERYTHING!  Last night I was changing a diaper and made mention of how much it stank.  I make funny faces to Mar and she laughs while I tell her how stinky she is.  Well, don't you know 'that's what baby's do!'
 
Sorry for the rant....I'm just upset at her.....again!

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deleted_user
deleted_user

Honey, some women are completely clueless. For one, at this age, little ones are prone to not eating very much. My daughter went from eating tons at a sitting, to just picking at her food. For another, unless she\'s the food police, she has no right to say anything! It really gets on my nerves when others think they know better for my children.
I homeschool my eldest child and my grandmother has told me that he\'s going to be antisocial when he grows up and that I can\'t possibly teach him enough. She has NO clue. My daughter gained tons of weight when she was born until she was 9 months old and started walking. I was told I feed her too much (it was exclusively breastmilk, and little solids) and that because I didn\'t give her bottles, I was neglecting her because I might get sick, then what will happen to her?!

My point is, these women can be idiots sometimes. My MIL doesn\'t care enough about any of us to cause a problem, but I know if she does say something, my husband would defend me, he\'s had to do it only once, and he did it well!

As for the eating things from a box, he needs to say something to her! I don\'t think she\'ll stop until he does!

I hope you\'re doing well and don\'t stress out too much!
Good luck with the stinky diapers.. ;)