More CPS Drama
The next step in the fallout from the romantic drama which resulted in Mother being hauled off in handcuffs and the GKs (2 & 5) in protective custody with the other grandparents and Father being banned from their lives is to take place at the Urban Homestead this afternoon. I don't believe the other grandparents are holding anything against their son-in-law or playing custody games. I believe it is the couple they are trying to avoid. I empathize. At present, Mom and Dad are looking like a match made in Hell. A feature presentation at any Ex Fest. . . The "Right One" is a question of whose side you are on. Does we really have to choose sides in family matters?
I'm afraid to be to confident in the pride, but I am proud of Hubs for approaching this meeting with CPS with an attitude of, "I just don't know." My neurotic wife-sense believes that his busy executive, detached and scathing certainty was/is part of the problem. Not the whole problem, but a note-worthy part of ^it^. Whatever the problem, following protocols from my on-going lecture series will fix it. Of course it's your fault that you didn't follow my instructions from the company water cooler. Be grateful that I took the time from my busy schedule to give the lectures.
As I have detached from the on-going dramas of my middle-aged children, Hubs has been rushing in to take over the "duties." How many years has that phase in the drama been going? I'm not sure that is to important to this current processing. During however many years it has been, I have been working to keep the focus on giving him the sort of support I wish I had received during the developmental rounds of the not-so-merry-go-round. Is the fact that he called me for emotional grounding before the meeting a sign that I have succeeded, at least a little bit?
Dunno. . . Prayers in progress. . . For now, I think I'll go look for a channel for the nervous anxiety while I await the update.
Replies
Oh Arfie! I’m so sorry but the way you are able to express and handle this is amazing. I don’t know if I would be so strong in such a situation.
I don’t think there should be sides taken in family squabbles or in your situation which goes far beyond those lines. Unfortunately, everyone else on the family fronts seem to disagree. My family is very adept at their little internal family wars on both sides and I try to stay as far out of it as possible, declaring constantly ‘I’m Switzerland, I’m neutral and not taking sides’ although historically Switzerland wasn’t exactly neutral so I probably should quit using that declaration.
It’s seems impossible to not take sides, because just the action of not doing it is like a declaration that you’re siding with the enemy in my family.
I’m so sorry Arfie! Hugs & love!
A beauty of venting my frustrations with peer supporters is that are not involved enough to take any side. All they see is the pain.
For staying compassionate toward my loved ones, even when they are making unreasonable demands of me? We all have assholes and good health requires we use them daily. Bathroom's over there, Hun. There's an enema in the cabinet, if you need it.
Personally, I like the Switzerland analogy. I use it myself. What does accuracy have to do with being understood?
Good points, Arfie as always. I’ll have to remember to point out the bathroom to my family more often, perhaps stock up on some good laxatives to spike the punch while they go to war. Nothing like a good healthy dose of the trots to get the mutual pain to get the empathy to start pumping again when the extreme discomfort cause every one to squirm.
Then again..., I may wind up starting toilet wars in my family but it’s might just be preferable to the mental and emotional Wars they are constantly waging.
Hugs & support Arfie!
sending prayers arfie!
Gentle hug sweetie.....
I hope that they can figure out that the GK's need both of their parents to love them and be kind at least for the sake of them
It would be hard for sure when things get tough in a relationship and anger sparks...….I feel for you and your family sweetie
I think you have a good outlook Arf and it can't be easy.... Another hug and a blessing.... I hope that they can find a place for peace to grow......xo
The update is in, confusing as it is. The CPS gist is that the 4 grandparents have shared custody of the GKs and neither parent is allowed unsupervised visits The two cannot see them at the same time under any circumstance. Adoption for the third unborn baby is still being discussed. Should that come to pass, Hubs and I will be considered for the adoptive parents. CPS promises it will be a long investigation. I'm okay with that. Quick fixes seldom fix much on messes this big. Healing hopes for all. No exceptions.
The other grandparents are staggering a bit with the added responsibility. There is talk about GD (2) coming up to stay here for a yet to be defined period. There is further talk of Daddy coming for the same period. Hubs wanted to talk to the other grandfather before anything was decided. More prayers in progress.
I will add my prayers for everyone involved, triple hugs arfie triple hugs
Hugs & support Arfie!
Big hug sweetie.... I will keep you all in my prayers....xo
I will keep you guys in my prayers for sure Arfie
Gentlest of hugs <3