More better days than bad still miss Smokey

I looks as if I am having more better days than bad days.  I thought that once but went into one whole week of not sleeping very well.  I am lulled into a false pretense of having more better days than bad days then bam I am hit on the head with tremendous grief.  It is interesting how grief can hit us in unusual and different ways.  I miss Smokey and not one day goes past when I don't.  Yesterday I was not feeling well and thought I was coming down with the flu so I just rested and even had an afternoon  nap.  My friend CS came over for dinner.  I took a couple of tylenols and my headache went away.  We went to the Richmond Ozone here for the Olympics.  The fresh air did me some good.  Today I am going to my daughters place to help organize it.  She just moved in with her boyfriend and they are expecting a baby on June 10, 2010.  I am happy and looking forward to being a grandma.  It's funny.  The circle of life my husband Smokey passes away on Nov. 15, 2009 and my daughter is giving birth on June 10, 2010.  Once she finds out the sex of the baby, I am throwing her a not a surprise baby shower at her place.  When I woke up I still felt a little under the weather but as I am moving about, I am starting to feel like my old self again.  I appreciatte this website 100% and don't know how I am coping with Smokey's loss without it.  I appreciate everyone's hugs to me.  There were days when that is all I did was be on this website.  It's comforting to share with others who have lost a dear one in their lives.  If a person hasn't lost anyone, they do not know how to comfort you in your loss.  It has been my experience.  Sometimes they even withdraw from you as they don't know what to do or how to comfort you.  They seem shallow throughout your grief.  It's only because they lack experience.  Since I was a child, my family has suffered loss.  It started when i was almost 3 years old and my own dad passed away.  The worst was now with the loss of my beloved husband Smookey.  At times I did not know how to go on or even wanted to but I am still alive.  There is a purpose for my life.  I have faith in God and He has kept me alive for a purpose even though I don't know what that is yet.  God bless each and everyone one of you in coping with your loss or those that have a living dead person in their lives.  Either way, it is tough, challenging and hard.