MORE AND MORE .....

Every day lately he's been getting worse and worse - pushing me away more and more... etc.. etc.. !!! 

Yet, even as he's doing that, he still randomly sticks brief moments of " niceness " in between the raging psychotic moments ! WTF ! What's up with that ?!?!?! 

I haven't even been able to begin to figure out WHY he's been like this lately.

I have one or two ideas, but no substantial proof of anything.

Of course, I wouldn't dare try to calmly ask him about any of it ! OH HELL NO !!!! 

I know much much better than that ! 

I get HIT for much less ! 

I get HIT for " blinking " wrong ! 

I get HIT for saying something that I DID NOT EVEN SAY ! .... But IF I dare to try to tell him that I DID NOT SAY IT, then I just get HIT EVEN MORE ! ... AND called a LIAR, a SLUT, a BITCH, a WHORE, an IDIOT, and STUPID ! 

Despite ALL of this.... 

He still has the NERVE to act like I should be " lovey-dovey " with him ! HAHAHAHAHA !!!! 

That's such BULLSHIT !

Where does he get off acting this way ? AND thinking it's " OKAY " ???!!!

To HIM.... In HIS " reality " ALL of the RAGING FITS, ABUSE, INSULTS, and Everything in between, is OKAY.... and I dare say he probably sees it as " NORMAL " !

I suppose it almost makes sense - in a very twisted way - since EVERYTHING he sees he looks at in a NEGATIVE WAY, even if there's really no reason for him to see it like that. Instead of " rose-colored " glasses, you could say he sees the world through " shit-colored " glasses !

A couple of hours ago he went OUT...

I asked him if he was going for a " walk ", and all he would say is that he's probably going to go to the mall to have his Other pair of eyeglasses adjusted. BUT he said if anyone during his walk - any drivers / of any cars - bothers him, that in the mood he's still in he'll probably pull one of them right out of there car, and beat them up ! WTF !

WHO thinks this way ? and thinks it's " OKAY " ?!

He completely left out the part that IF he dared do that that he would be risking not only getting hurt, but having his ass thrown in JAIL ! Plus with his background if he did get into trouble like that, he would be going to JAIL for a VERY VERY LONG TIME !

I was half-way tempted to ask him.... " Do you want to end up in JAIL ?! "....

But I didn't DARE ask him that, since in the mood he's been in he would only turn around and scream at me / or WORSE in reply !

I wish I could find a roommate that I could trust, and rely on.... but I have NO IDEA of how to even begin to look for one.