Mood dip.

It was to be expected, once the initial grief has worn off in comes the misery to take its place. I knew it was coming but I didn't bank on it being quite so soon. To make matters worse, my sister had to have her pregnancy aborted today on health grounds, she is naturally devestated but I just cannot bring myself to phone her, I will try tomorrow but I feel totally out of my depth on this one, I just dont know what to say.
I slept this afternoon for the first time in ages, that is the first bad sign, soon comes the staying awake all night, followed by the wicked mood swings. I am mindful of where I am right now, I know what's coming, I hope that is enough to stop a full on crash into the abyss. I think I am rightly affraid.
 Just feeling a little like a waste of space again, not good. That means I am replaying things in my head that are best left buried, or ignored, whichever you believe it to be.
I am thankful for my friends and family and I apologise for being something of a dick at times, I always apologise. Never makes it right though.