Monday January 31, 2011

I am done with this new journey, done, done, done.
At 10 1/2 months, I find myself crying more and altho
coping, working etc, I am just plain miserable.
I WANT MY OLD LIFE BACK AND I WANT IT NOW.
No, I would not harm myself, I am just so sad and so lonely.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I am so sorry for your pain - I am there with you -I\'ll be at 9 months on Friday and some days, it\'s like it\'s a completely fresh and new wound........I find myself crying and crying.
I loved my old life - and although I know it\'s not possible to have it back, I wish there was some way to rewind the clock.........to turn back the calendar pages.
Sending you a hug for a more peaceful tomorrow with a little less sadness for you,
Chris
deleted_user
deleted_user

I know.

Linda
deleted_user
deleted_user

I hear ya girl and send hugs and prayers your way...hang in there and just keep making plans on your calendar to look forward to...otherwise we sink in the yesterday that won\'t come back no matter how we stomp our feet and insist...I\'ve done it long enough. lol Keep on venting we are here for you...xoxo
deleted_user
deleted_user

I remember when we would write back and forth while Pat was still here. I\'m very sorry for your continuous grief. Perhaps it would help if you would be able to remember what Pat would say to you if he was on the telephone as if he was on a trip. That reflects prayer and communion with the Lord. We can\'t see Him but we know He\'s there. I realize that only Pat\'s memory is the only thing you have. But if you look around the house there probably is a item that he made - a pillow he loved and so on. I go through similar feelings when I visit my mom\'s house and the memories of my dad are everywhere. One day at a time is all you can do. Don\'t push your self more than that.
Talk to you soon.
Guy
DianeMTB
DianeMTB

It\'s understandable. You had been with your late husband many years. It\'s natural to want your old life back again. It is natural to find it hard to cope without him in your life. The sad fact it will never ever be the same again. You are surviving life without your husband. It\'s a new year and a new start for yourself. Be the best that you can be. Pat would probably want you to carry on without him as best as you can and be the woman that he knows you are and have been. Don\'t push yourself and live one day at a time. The inward healing is a long journey to be on. I started in 1998 and am still on the road of inward healing. I have had many hazards along the way but I am a survivor. You are a survivor. We cannot undo the past or what has husband but have to move forward with the way things are now in our life. The way the cards have folded for us we have to accept, adjust and adapt to our new life without our husbands. It is the hardest thing to do. Some make it okay and some do not. My heart aches for you and what you are going through. The journey is a hard one at best from Diane B.
deleted_user
deleted_user

(((hugs)))

I understand.
It sounds as though the two of you had a wonderful close marriage.
I miss Bill every day...but the memories of him help me smile and keep moving forward. It is what he would have wanted for me.

love,
Carla
Patswife
Patswife

Carla, I had my engagement ring 9 days after our first date. Pat always said I didn\'t need him and that was what attracted him to me. We had nearly 33 years together, soooo not long enough, but you are right, my Beloved Pat would want me to carry on and keep moving forward. Crying as I write this. Thank you. Hugs, Wendy