moments of global dischord in my head

yesterday something in me kept pestering me to reach further... to try harder.....

when I was at home....

that I wasn't quite 'enough' yet...in how much I tried or put out there...

and then I tried a new way of thinking about things...

a definite mental wrong turn...

but then I saw my Dad...he asked me to do some errands with him..

he saved my spirit..but because of 'my new state of mind' - I interpreted

all kinds of his and my reactions to me or by me with a sense of falling short and

a personal global outlook disruption... lol

it's funny but it's not...

I tried not to give it power but I came home depressed as 'all get out' - I emailed my therapist

to give her a heads up - and then went to work...in what seemed to be a 

just mixed up frame of mind... but I did the work and I did good work - and yet

it's so funny how when things don't jibe or fit into or make sense in my global outlook

and understanding of things I can go 'wonky crazy'!

I had a therapist who was like that too - he had to have a sense of how I or maybe all his

clients fit into his world view of things and I saw him walking wobbly and spinning mentally

one time after he has a session with me!  

I know others who I've seen get that way too so I know I am not alone in that...

Talking about it here helps me feel in good company that my lack of understanding

has a place amongst others..a safe place and perhaps a sanguine place...

and I guess that's what we do here.

Yes, I am feeling off but I'll set my sights on reframing the state of mind

with the ephemerality of it - a sort of bad day that will pass - and not

too bad of a day at that...I'll appreciate the good things and get on with life...

Hope your days are going well. I've therapy in half an hour!