Moment of Weakness!
A Child:
I have not done positive self-comments this week. I tried this morning when I got back from the doctors but instead of positive, I only said negative. I stopped speaking and cried when I had my entire head torn apart. "Your eyes are red and puffy, your lips are small and oddly shaped, your hair is flat and off color, your pores are too big, your nose is too big" The only positive thing I said was "your chin has a cute shape".... And that was after all of my negative comments. That's when I started to cry.
Why do I feel so broken today? I feel something is screaming inside me begging me to stop and that I'm okay but the rest of me is misrable and lost.
Whats on my mind today is my pregnancy. I've had alot of issues and complacations thuis far. My health is not the best, and the fact that my childs father is still livid with me over the words that I said is making it worse. I undersstand that words are powerfull after reading a "froggy story" that left me speachless. At the same time, I did not mean my words in the way that they were taken. There are no excuses for my words at all.
Its not worth starting a fight and bringing up how I was hurt too by things he said to me that night out of anger. Yes how I feel is important but it's just not worth starting another pointless fight. I want things fixed and I have no idea how to do so. It's been 3 days since our fight and let me tell you what, my heart is kicking my butt. So I've been biting my tounge only saying "I love you" I miss you" "My love doesn't run" and backing up for him to calm down and realze that I'm not "just anyone". I had to learn that about him the hard way, now its time for him to understand that about me.
I have not done positive self-comments this week. I tried this morning when I got back from the doctors but instead of positive, I only said negative. I stopped speaking and cried when I had my entire head torn apart. "Your eyes are red and puffy, your lips are small and oddly shaped, your hair is flat and off color, your pores are too big, your nose is too big" The only positive thing I said was "your chin has a cute shape".... And that was after all of my negative comments. That's when I started to cry.
Why do I feel so broken today? I feel something is screaming inside me begging me to stop and that I'm okay but the rest of me is misrable and lost.
Whats on my mind today is my pregnancy. I've had alot of issues and complacations thuis far. My health is not the best, and the fact that my childs father is still livid with me over the words that I said is making it worse. I undersstand that words are powerfull after reading a "froggy story" that left me speachless. At the same time, I did not mean my words in the way that they were taken. There are no excuses for my words at all.
Its not worth starting a fight and bringing up how I was hurt too by things he said to me that night out of anger. Yes how I feel is important but it's just not worth starting another pointless fight. I want things fixed and I have no idea how to do so. It's been 3 days since our fight and let me tell you what, my heart is kicking my butt. So I've been biting my tounge only saying "I love you" I miss you" "My love doesn't run" and backing up for him to calm down and realze that I'm not "just anyone". I had to learn that about him the hard way, now its time for him to understand that about me.
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