moderation

I woke up this morning and went about my usual routine.

I played with Blue and fed him, dressed myself and then went to the Starbucks.

Quiet darkness around.

When I came back I started to text friends and family members, emails too... good morning, good morning! :)

Then I noticed something that was happening..

my enthusiasim and energy inside was speeding up - too many thoughts, too many worries and neurotic feelings started. This is something that happened to me in my 20s...I felt like I had too many social contacts...

and I was spreading myself thin...and felt that I was losing some sense of sanity because of it. and so then

I gravitated to a more reclusive life... and illness set in.

So this morning I realized that maybe I just need a 'small world' - and indeed I don't mind that .. and I

thought about how much I love my life here and am grateful for it...grateful for my family and friends and Blue.

Then I texted my very best friend who I have know since I was 13 years old.

We started talking (texting) about the tragedy of rioting in D.C.

Anyways - it opened up some ideas in me - that made me rethink my ideas

about compassion for others who don't have the strength or talent that the strong do - and then in contrast  also the point at which we all must be self responsible in life.

To be self responsible takes effort and also....It made me think how we all must adopt a sense of moderation which is an effect for self responsibility

- we all may be are dealing with our animal natures - our passions or neurosis and those propensities to go high flying

and extreme at times..but the idea of moderation helps use keep responsible and self maintained and affirmed maybe - 

so we can productively and effectively live our lives... We all can tie one on - but for myself

this is what I am thinking about today - that moderation that each of us has to deal with can be

a measuring stick and reassurance for ourselves - in our own lives for ourselves and loved ones - and also

as a way to maybe see social issues just in light of the fact that we're all dealing with self managing

and I know we are not all the same and able to make a big life for ourselves (like having my small life)

and we all don't have the same fortune  at our lives outsets. But structure and affirming self responsibility to an extent shouldn't always be forfeited to 'nature.' Maybe? Does that make sense?