Mixed Emotions

Today was the community college graduation ceremony.  I probably would have been there if I wasn't feeling so hurt and scared.  My parents really didn't care much for it and if they had the fact that the tent was on a grass surface -- not good for my mother's hips (she has admitted she waited too long to get those done) would probably have acted as a stopper anyway.
My oldest brother is stopping by tomorrow morning to take some time to look at my rather meh first draft of my resume and try to make some suggestions on it.  I think I might have my lappy up just so we can screw around with it on the fly.  I'm hoping it doesn't take that long because it's going to be uncomfortable again tomorrow and I'd rather get the yard work done early if I can help it.
Just ordered my study guide for the Paralegal Core Competency Exam I'd been mentioning to a couple of my friends that I want to take somewhere down the line.  Frankly -- although I still think a basic certification is a necessary step -- I think I'm basically trapping myself.  I really have no answers on exactly where the track should be going right now, and while I've said a dream scenario would be to have a part-time pharmacy job and a part-time paralegal job, in my heart I know those odds are not good.  Not in my current state.  Not when I was basically allowed to hang on to my fear of people during my classes.  Could try to fight it, I suppose, but talking myself into that is really a no-go.
And I wonder why sleeping has been an issue the last few weeks...