MIXED DAY!

Today was yet another strange one.  I met with my ex co-workers for lunch and that was very nice.  We were able to visit quite a while.  It was such a beautiful day, near 70, so I went and "kidnapped" my Mom.  She went to the SS office with me and then to Chris' house to see the remodel on his bathroom.  In the meantime, she told me she is going in the hospital on Mon. and is now looking at potential surgery.  Apparently, on the PET scan, they found more cancer on her kidney.  So, the doctors were going to converse and figure out what to do.  This really stinks!  I am very afraid I will lose my mom this year.  She has been battling this thing for nearly 2 years.  My mother-in-law passed away in 2006, Scott in 2007, and I am afraid for 2008.  I am thinking if they have to do surgery they might as well take care of the heart thing then, too, instead of waiting to see if meds work and put her through 2 procedures.  On the other hand......  I am 51 years old but I am still not ready to lose my mom!  Once she is gone that will be about it for my side of the family.  I have a 1/2 sister but she and I are not close. She is 10 yrs. younger.  My adopted sister and I are just still getting to know each other.  She is 12 yrs. younger.  My 2 step-brothers are on/off.  I don't see them very much and although we like each other, we just don't know about the day-to-day lives of each other.  One lives in TX and the other in KS.  So, when Mom is gone it will really just be me and my guys.  And, of course, my friends.  Okay...I need to take my own advice....stay in the moment and one breath at a time.