missing out
I am thinking about how I have been urged to write a book about my experiences
with having mental healthy challenges.
What I am also thinking about is the fact that I HATE
that I have missed out on so much! From stable long term relationships,
to a steady career, to establishing a family and creating wealth...all because
for the majority of my life I've been fighting this invisible disorder.
It blows.
But I am not going to bed angry- just am very, very frustrated.
I see pics of friends - contemporaries from high school - celebrating
their children in college...how so far removed from that am I!:(
But I guess mine it's the road less traveled too - I have seen and been down many paths which
others have not - and mostly not great but I feel like I have become a journaller
philosopher.. artist.. poet..humanity focused....it's been the thing I held onto
when my bravery and strength wasn't enough to carry me through the mainstream benchmarks
of life and relationships.
I'm grateful for my friendships here, my Blue as well and my family who has stuck by
me..day after day as I fight and struggle with my mind. Peace.
Replies
One day at a time Mark, focused on one task at a time is the way I'm currently rolling. I know there will be smarter, richer people than I, on the other side of that coin, I have all I need.
Peace Be With You
I think you have come a long way from when I first met you and you were living in the group home. Now you are on your own and even have a cat to take care of. I remember it took you quite a while to decide you could take care of Blue and now what would you do without him? :) You are doing great Mark. I think it's okay to look back on the past if we can see how far we've come in a positive way.
I understand, Mark. And I have felt like that often, too. That sort of comparative perspective is bound to lead to depression.
Becky is right on. Be proud of all you have accomplished and overcome. Progress is amazing and you should honor all that growth.
I often have a sort of self deprecating sense cracking jokes in therapy, and then the sad clown expresses her real feelings where I am comparing myself to others in public. But it’s important to remember that everything visible on the outside and what we observe about “status” doesn’t necessarily equate to happiness. Some people may wish they could be in your shoes, living life, having their own space, living with kindness and compassion instead of other realities .
Work on a book! Do it! Tell your story and it will help others. You are doing great.
and all of that would make a mighty fine outline to start your book. every single line in this entry has potential for fleshing out into its own chapter. do that do, marky pooh. you really could. . . the hardest part is plying ass to chair and getting started.
who knows. . . you might even find your happy ending before the end of the book.
Hola Mark
I wish I could write better but I’m having a foggy night but wanted you to know you’re not alone,
That would be cool to write a book
Big hug <3
Thanks guys. I’m getting ready to start work. Have a great day!