Missing my husband

I miss my husband...Rick...It's been 9 months...and I still feel like it's not real...but I know it is...I am absent minded...misplacing things...and can't think straight at times..I am aggravated with myself..I am lonely and have many tasks to take care of...The garage has tools and so many things..some I don't even know what they are..Rick never showed me how to do stuff around here..He rather do it himself and not have anybody in his way..I will always love and miss him...I wear my wedding rings and his..the nurse was thoughtful and removed his ring because his fingers were swelling...she told me to put the ring on...and it's still on my finger..I don't know if I will ever feel happy again..One blessing is two little grandkids...bringing joy and smiles.....I repeat the Lord is my Shepherd when I feel anxious...