Missing you

Jeff,
I noticed today that I haven't shed any tears in the last week. I don't know why? It isn't that I have gotten use to you being gone forever. Its not that I don't feel lonely or that I don't have a huge hole in my heart. Its not that I feel empty when I walk through our room and know that you will not be coming home. What is it then?
Is is that my tears have been used up and my body has to remake them? Could it be that my heart has hurt so much lately that it has gone numb just for a bit, so that I can get some rest? Could it be that the emptiness has just taken over?
I want you to know that I still miss you, Baby. Even though I'm smiling at things the kids are saying or doing. Even though I laugh when something stupid happens on a tv show. Even though I can listen to songs and not cry like I did just 3 months ago when I lost you. I haven't forgotten you. I think my heart, brain and tears are just giving me a break.