Miss my Smokey still after all this time.

I miss my Smokey still after all this time.  It's been one year and five months.  I was missing him this morning and crying at my own personal loss of Smokey.  I don't know how I can go on anymore as I miss him so much.  I will go on but it's not the same without Smokey in my life.  I have a lot of good people in my life.  I have my faith in God.  God will never leave me nor forsake me.  I know all these things to be true but I still miss my Smokey.  Dave is a good man but I still miss my Smokey.  We are all unique and one of a kind.  No one can replace Smokey.  
I have to go to  job interview this morning.  I have to dry my tears.  My mood is still one of loss but I still will go because I need a job.  I am trying to dry up the tears, watch TV to get a little cheer up and then get dressed.  
Our lives are not the way that we wanted them to be for ourselves.  The loss made a huge impact in our lives which we are still healing from it all.  Time is the best healer. I have come a long way since Smokey died.  I still miss him so very much.  It's not that I am thinking about him.  I feel the huge whole in my heart which leads to tears and then I think of my life with Smokey.  It is this huge overwhelming grief in my heart, which leads me to cry and that leads me to think of my late-Smokey.  It starts with a sadness of my soul and spirit.  It's weird.  Have any of you felt that way or have gone through this experience yourselves.
All the best from Diane Baillie

Replies

pattiameo
pattiameo

Yes, I am going through a period like this now. Tony was my protector and best friend; to use some cliches, I still feel like I am \'flying by the seat of my pats\', \'without a net\'. Life sure does suck. I sat outside today for a little while with my iPod and a little bit of wine, and that helped mellow me a little, but I wonder lately if life will ever be any better. It has a long way to go.

Best of luck with your interview, Diane! I wish I could find work that I enjoy as much as tutoring. I feel like I am too old and my skills are too specialized. Besides, I want to be on my own, teaching on my computer. I could not earn enough money to make me want to go back into classroom teaching, and I can\'t afford to get my licenses again.

Good luck! Hugs, Patti