Miss my Smokey even though I am happy with Dave.

I miss my Smokey dearly.  I am happy with Dave as well.  When I am with Dave or babysitting my grandson Tyson, I am happily content.  When I come home to the empty apartment, I miss Smokey like crazy.  I don't think it is good for me to be alone as I feel the grief so incredibly intense in this one bedroom apartment.  This was Smokey's apartment.  He bought it in 1992.  I moved in in 2000.  It was our apartment but legally in Smokey's name. We were happy here until Smokey died on Nov. 15, 2009.  My world changed.  I felt it fall beneath my feet.  It has taken a hard road to get back to where I am now and it still is not in a good place.  I have come along way baby but there is much road for me to travel on.  I don't know why God's takes us on these crazy trips but it is the most difficult thing I have ever had to do.  Nothing compares to the journey I am on these days.  I am still trying to figure things out.  God has my life going around in twists and turns.  I don't know what to expect from day to day.  I only know that I am in God's hands.  The best hands to be in on this crazy planet.  I am just realizing it that I will have to live with the sadness of my soul and spirit.  I am not sure if I have to live with the sadness the rest of my life or not.  Dave and my grandson Tyson are my world and they make me happy.  Still I come home to the empty apartment and the sadness takes over to where I weep and cry. I know some of you feel what I am feeling.  Anyone else experience this at all?  Am I alone or in good company?  from Diane B.