Mind to focus for other stuff.
I got in trouble when i didn't continue writing in my journal. But I think when I write I feel better. I don't know what every thing will come out. I stil mad a God but the time is softening my heart. I will have a heart to heart one day. To many questions, too many fucking things went unanswered. My anger is still there. I realize this is my curse and it will hold me down if I don't handle it. Guess what, when I have my surgery, I will still have to work on it. Money still dominate my mind set but guess fucking stimulus check is coming. Well that is what the paper is saying but whatever. Where was God when I needed Him. When I was crying out for him. I heard things that things happen for our good and trying to make you better. All those people have jobs and doing ok. Just say you don't know and you don't have an answer. I just trying to relax but my mindset is fragile. I'm trying to work it out. Going to setup anger management class
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hang in there - you will see - God is always there - remember God\'s time and our time is different - when prayers aren\'t answered in our time doesn\'t mean that they won\'t be answered. Just because we pray for what we WANT doesn\'t mean we get it - God provides for what we NEED. Sometimes we don\'t even realize what we NEED. Aggressive talk leads towards aggressive mindset - when you talk try to be more gentle towards yourself and the words you use - passiviness is a step towards helping calming the anger. Anger is the devils playground as long as the mind is in turmoil Satan controls - makes you believe God has turne his back on you - that\'s not the case - that\'s Satan playing games. Money is always an issue for all, we must have it to survive, the luxuries are not a necessity but we do need it for basic necessities, so yes, it\'s a frustration, is it that you have a hard time working due to the surgery you need? Remember to praise before you pray, then when you pray YOU have to make the daily effort to change your ways and mindset - you don\'t just pray and then continue in the same path - sweetie - don\'t give up, it\'s just a struggle right now - we all have them, just in different ways. Everymorning i wake up, before i pray, i give praise to God for everything I have, and i say it outloud so my ears hear it - I mean everything, including sight, hearing, breath, skin, my children, my home, my car, being able to see the sky, hear the birds, food on my table, utilities for my children, the ability to work and the ability to feel emotional pain, thankfulness for healthy children, and the list goes on and on - then i pray - he\'s is the father and will provide -I\'ve learned to pray for EVERYTHING i do - even going to the grocery store, i pray before going in, asking God to bless the money to feed my children - i ask God for strength to keep Satan\'s maniupative games from my mind. Even though i\'ve been a christian all mylife, Satan was still the driver - praise and pray my friend.
Bless you and my your day be filled with joy.