Mind to focus for other stuff.

I got in trouble when i didn't  continue writing in my journal. But I think when I  write I feel better. I don't know what every thing will come out. I stil mad a God but the time is softening my heart. I will have a heart to heart one day. To many questions, too many fucking things went unanswered. My anger is still there. I realize this is my curse and it will hold me down if I don't handle it. Guess what, when I have my surgery, I will still have to work on it. Money still dominate my mind set but guess fucking stimulus check is coming. Well that is what the paper is saying but whatever. Where was God when I needed Him. When I was crying out for him. I heard things that things happen for our good and trying to make you better. All those people have jobs and doing ok. Just say you don't know and you don't have an answer. I just trying to relax but my mindset is fragile. I'm trying to work it out. Going to setup anger management class