Mind, Body, Soul Reboot
I haven't had the time or energy to write lately. I have gotten myself into a bad place. After our failed cycle in December we planned on moving forward with our last FET with my next period. Well, looks like once again God has a different plan. It never came. I never even allowed myself to think that we actually conceived naturally. I realized that I am so stressed out that I skipped my period. I have never done that before in my life minus the time we did get pregnant. I have been feeling nervous waves in my belly and then got a fever blister. These symptoms of stress are really nothing new for me, but my body is clearly under way more duress then I realized. I decided to push the FET off and focus on my mind/body connection and cleanse myself of this anxiety.
I actually came across this webinar fertility summit that was full of speakers on a number of different topics, but mostly how to deal with stress and renewing the mind body connection. It was seriously meant to be! I discovered a number of ways to work on things, many that I knew about and never tried, but also a few new things. I am contemplating seeing a therapist as well.
The first thing I started doing was meditating. I actually only did it a few times and even just that made a huge difference. I started to think about all of the things that are truly worrying me. Of course the glaring one that maybe I will never get pregnant and have kids. But also, I'm scared of getting pregnant and losing the baby. I meditated on my fears and began changing those thoughts into positive affirmations. I AM capable of getting pregnant. I am nourishing my body in order to carry a healthy baby. I stopped looking at every pregnant woman as a reminder of what I don't have, but a reminder of what is to come. It is seriously making a difference and here's how I know.
Yesterday at work (I teach nursing students on Tuesdays and so I am at a different hospital than my regular full time job). Of course, there are 2 pregnant girls on the unit and they were both sitting in the nurse's lounge complaining about how they were so short of breath and uncomfortable. I immediately left the room so I didn't have to listen to their complaints. Then later, I overheard a girl saying to one of the pregnant girls that she should hurry up and pop out a bunch of kids. The pregnant girl says, Calm down, I'm only 27, not 35! I just turned 33. Normally, these comments would have killed me and ruined my whole day. I even went home and told my husband about them. Then I told him that ya know what, I feel sorry that they are so uncomfortable and hopefully things will improve for them. That girl has no idea that I struggle with infertility, and I let the comments roll right off my back. I still have a ways to go and I even feel the slight nervous waves in my belly now. It's a work in progress, but I hope to work on things and do the FET in April or May. Here's to peace and relaxation! Oh, and DH and I booked a trip to Florida the first week of April that I am BEYOND excited about. If that doesn't relax me than nothing will!! xoxo
I actually came across this webinar fertility summit that was full of speakers on a number of different topics, but mostly how to deal with stress and renewing the mind body connection. It was seriously meant to be! I discovered a number of ways to work on things, many that I knew about and never tried, but also a few new things. I am contemplating seeing a therapist as well.
The first thing I started doing was meditating. I actually only did it a few times and even just that made a huge difference. I started to think about all of the things that are truly worrying me. Of course the glaring one that maybe I will never get pregnant and have kids. But also, I'm scared of getting pregnant and losing the baby. I meditated on my fears and began changing those thoughts into positive affirmations. I AM capable of getting pregnant. I am nourishing my body in order to carry a healthy baby. I stopped looking at every pregnant woman as a reminder of what I don't have, but a reminder of what is to come. It is seriously making a difference and here's how I know.
Yesterday at work (I teach nursing students on Tuesdays and so I am at a different hospital than my regular full time job). Of course, there are 2 pregnant girls on the unit and they were both sitting in the nurse's lounge complaining about how they were so short of breath and uncomfortable. I immediately left the room so I didn't have to listen to their complaints. Then later, I overheard a girl saying to one of the pregnant girls that she should hurry up and pop out a bunch of kids. The pregnant girl says, Calm down, I'm only 27, not 35! I just turned 33. Normally, these comments would have killed me and ruined my whole day. I even went home and told my husband about them. Then I told him that ya know what, I feel sorry that they are so uncomfortable and hopefully things will improve for them. That girl has no idea that I struggle with infertility, and I let the comments roll right off my back. I still have a ways to go and I even feel the slight nervous waves in my belly now. It's a work in progress, but I hope to work on things and do the FET in April or May. Here's to peace and relaxation! Oh, and DH and I booked a trip to Florida the first week of April that I am BEYOND excited about. If that doesn't relax me than nothing will!! xoxo
Replies
Becky, I\'m glad you\'re starting to feel better and are working on getting to a happier place. Sometimes it\'s good to take a break and recharge before getting back into it all (sometimes you really have to). That\'s great that meditation has helped you look at things in a more positive light. You are a strong woman with a great attitude, and I truly believe that it\'s not a matter of if you get pregnant, it\'s just a matter of when. A trip to Florida sounds like a great way to relax and de-stress! Thinking of you! xoxo
Good to hear from you! I haven\'t been on here in a while but I logged in yesterday because i missed everyone! I\'m so happy that you are finding ways to cope with the overwhelming stress and that it is helping you. I found it was the little things that I would do for myself that helped, turning negative thoughts into positive ones - it really does work, even when you don\'t believe it just say it to yourself over and over. Working out helped me so much to relieve pent up anger and frustration, going to the gym or doing yoga or even just taking a nice long walk. Music too! I\'m so proud of you for letting those pregnant girls comments just roll off your back. It is so hard but you just have to let it go because like you said they have no idea what you are dealing with - most people are clueless when it comes to infertility struggles. Oh and Florida sounds amazing!! There is no better place than a beach for relaxation!! Thinking of you!! :-)
Everything you are saying really resonates with me. I am working on the same things, and it is hard, but so worth it. I second Lynn - working out has been my savior lately. It really has helped keep the anxiety at bay. I only worry about what will happen in the 2 week wait when I won\'t be able to work out...so I am also trying find other methods. I may try acupuncture again and see how that goes. My yoga studio also does meditation. This meditation video always helps to relax me and puts a smile on my face too. I hope you appreciate the humor. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92i5m3tV5XY