Mild Crash
Well, the crash I expected following my trip to Tulsa finally came yesterday, but it was not so bad as others I have experienced following less stressful activities. This condition makes no sense! I had trouble sleeping the night before – I hardly ever have trouble sleeping! Yesterday my limbs felt heavy, I had frequent hot flashes, headache and a little shakiness. I was too tired to attempt any exercise, but I didn’t have that totally wiped-out, flue-like exhaustion as before. I spent most of the day napping in the recliner, but was able to take the dogs out and spend some time on the computer.
I slept long and well last night and felt better right away this morning. By noon I had already tidied up, curled my hair, done both my strength and relaxation exercises and taken the dogs for a short walk – moving very slowly. That is something that was stressed at CTCA and something I seem to find very difficult. I have always moved quickly – I had to in order to keep up with my Dad doing chores on the farm. He did not tolerate dawdling. There was some distance between the house, the barn, and the chicken coop and there was to be no lollygagging on the way to gather eggs or bring in the milk. Until I got my horse, bringing in the milk cows from the pasture required long, swift strides through the tall grass. If I wanted to investigate a duck or pheasant nest, a badger hole, or an outcropping of wildflowers along the way, I had to go back after the milking was done. At work, one of my co-workers often said, “You never walk; you always bustle!” I feel like working quickly, physically and mentally, is part of my identity. It is hard to let it go. Even now when I go to do something, I move quickly without thinking about it until I get to the other end of the house or yard; then I’m totally out of breath. I have found that moving very slowly allows me to work longer and get more done….but I still don’t like it!
I slept long and well last night and felt better right away this morning. By noon I had already tidied up, curled my hair, done both my strength and relaxation exercises and taken the dogs for a short walk – moving very slowly. That is something that was stressed at CTCA and something I seem to find very difficult. I have always moved quickly – I had to in order to keep up with my Dad doing chores on the farm. He did not tolerate dawdling. There was some distance between the house, the barn, and the chicken coop and there was to be no lollygagging on the way to gather eggs or bring in the milk. Until I got my horse, bringing in the milk cows from the pasture required long, swift strides through the tall grass. If I wanted to investigate a duck or pheasant nest, a badger hole, or an outcropping of wildflowers along the way, I had to go back after the milking was done. At work, one of my co-workers often said, “You never walk; you always bustle!” I feel like working quickly, physically and mentally, is part of my identity. It is hard to let it go. Even now when I go to do something, I move quickly without thinking about it until I get to the other end of the house or yard; then I’m totally out of breath. I have found that moving very slowly allows me to work longer and get more done….but I still don’t like it!
Replies
It was neat to hear about your childhood and the farm, but I can surely see why it is hard for you to move slowly. You were very well indoctrinated to move quickly. Yeah, CFS makes no sense. I crash hard over little things and sometimes don\'t crash as hard over bigger things. Who knows? Get your rest. Love you.
I too was a hustler, as a child my neighbors nicknames me \'the butterfly\' because I was there 1 minute and gone the next haha:) I sometimes catch myself moving quickly and pause- to breathe- just breathe- go at your own pace- we cant compare ourselves to who we once were- we have to start right where we are and move forward xoxo