middle of the night march31st

the computer light is soooo bright.  wondering if i get my sunglasses out of the car will i still be able to see well enough to type?  ok,i'm in, an experiment with sunglasses at 4:25 am seems about as normal as any other part of this odd little life.  so hang on, let me get a pair. 

ohhh, well well well.......my silver wire sunglasses have blue lenses......i've had them for......more than twenty years.  i have another pair i got at the same time, that have dark pink lenses.  not that it matters, but it's kind of comforting being surrounded with the same things over time.  the darkened lenses help but i forgot about needing readers to navigate the keyboard.  especially the new keyboard.  things on this board are not all in the same place or have the same markings as the mac keyboard.

the littlest stuff can trip a body up.  pretty funny, putting on sunglasses this time of the night.....aka morning.  rio is sitting on top of this chair behind me taking a loud licking sort of bath.  not a favorite noise so close to my ear.......rio is sort a slurpy.  shhhh, get down rio.  if i make him leave his perch he will cry, he has momma duck angst.  needs to be close to me......clearly suffers with separation anxiety.  what can a cat mom do about that.......and can a cat be trained to lighten up on the meowing? 

when i went to bed everything gathered inside my body even as the spring storm took hold outside.  everything is about pain.  muscles in my upper arms...related to my rotator cuffs......pain shooting inside my hip, down my leg, in my back......my neck is stiff and sore and screaming.  makes it hard to sleep.  i bend an arm and then have to slowly unbend it and massage it.  then my hand(s) fall asleep and more time is needed to massage and relax areas.  pain shoots down that cord on the left side of my neck.......pain in my torso.......pain in my feet, stiffness in my wrists.  where is the OFF BUTTON?  finally i get up, eat a tiny little thing of yogurt, take two pain pills and eventually fall asleep.  i forget to turn off the tv.....somehow my night dreams are creating their own offshoot of the program i've been watching......a show called the glades via netflix.  i wake up and try to find the show i was watching and then realize my mind was creating an episode no one at tv land knows about.  wacky and confusing.

it rained hard......some lighting, a little thunder, but it was good.  almost april showers will bring may flowers......i made notes of the games you mentioned.....will look them up.......see if i can make them happen!

THANK YOU FOR THE TIPS!

the momma dove is taking such good care of her baby........that bird would fit right in the palm of  your hand.....so utterly lovely.  a little bit chubby, i must have good worms and bugs out back! a bird chuckwagon.....! 

i did a lot of physical bending and other motions that make a body mad at its' owner......i washed out a big container in the garage and put empty albums in it.....filled up another container with the rest.  it's out of my kitchen and yet protected while it sits forever in the garage.  bruce was so kind about it, he said you will get to it when you get to it......you have a tendency to overdo!  he catches me doing stuff i shouldn't be doing all the time.....living alone and being a stubbornly independent so n so will bring that out in us. 

when we do these things we have to pay.  i thought that as you age nerve pain diminishes......maybe that doesn't apply to real people or disabled people but people in cartoons in the sunday paper? the sunday funnies brings back good memories.....family circus, beetle bailey.....and the memory light went out again.  can't think of another one....wait, PEANUTS!  yay, that's a good memory too! 

today i need to go to my doctor's office.  to p/u xarelto samples......he is giving me 15 and 20 mg samples.  i am to alternate the two dosages every other day.  i made a note to call united healthcare to see what my deductible is.  it's hard for me to believe that xarelto goes from 30 bucks for NINETY days to $150 for THIRTY days, but it does.  i was putting presriptions/medical expenses on my credit card for a long time and then the credit card well filled all the way up.  can't turn there til they are paid down.  stressors. 

we all have them.  when i came home with my other meds the other day i realized i had picked up more muscle relaxers.  i don't need them, i have plenty of those.....i told the guy to take them off i only wanted to get the tramadol........but in the confusion of taking off the xarelto i couldn't afford.....i ended up with the tizanidine.  i take them so rarely.....they put me to sleep and leave me groggy, but yes they relieve the spasms so they are a valuable tool.  but my goodness i have more than enough......didn't need to spend another $30 for more. 

since they aren't individually wrapped i can't give them to the doctor's office......but i will take them in anyway and ask if they can be used for someone in need.  by the time i use up what i already have this bottle will be out of order.  not trying to do anything wrong, honestly trying to do something kind for someone in need.....cause we all know about need and budget constraints.

now then, what can i do for sara for a gift......?  donate to a nearby food bank?  that could be good......that could work.  she took offense to other suggestions i made......storage shelving for her laundry room, micro bead pillows to ease her achy fibro body.  the funny thing is that when she is here she likes to lie on my bed and use all those micro bead pillows.....they really do help cushion the pain attacks.  one of my micro bead babies has a little hole in the fabric.  i have got to mend that......if i forget there will be hay to pay in the washing machine.  yes, they are washable and i like the way fabric softener smells in the fabric....snuggly sweet!  but a hole means micro bead spillage and baby that shtuff goes everywhere!  it would mean more vacuuming in the washer and dryer....my first time was after the drinking glass breakage incident earlier.  at first i was fishing the glass out, but then later when it came flying out of the dryer onto the floor i broke out the big guns.......the mighty vaccuum!! felt plenty stupid vacuuming the dryer and washer but whatever works right?

it's now 5:02 pm, so quiet.  shhhhh, even rio is quiet. i just turned to look and he's still there.....ahhh, makes me fall in love with this silly blue russian kitty all over again.  he's so goofy, i swear he must have lived with relatives of cheech and chong before i found him at a pet adoption.  the pet adoption people called him "petee"......still not sure if that meant Pet EEE or Pete eeee?  either way i went with Rio.....which means river. when rio relaxes he really relaxes.  his whole body is one giant laid back furry thing.  he trusts completely, no ridigity at all......he will just melt into this floppy bonelessness that is really kind of amazing......

he likes to race around the house and then he will fly into my lap.....it's not a gentle entrance, he FLIES and lands with a definitive entrance to my lap......everytime.  he curls into a c curve, looks up and seeks out my eyes.....he has to make contact, let me know he would like a little petting, i have never heard rio purrrr.  can a purr be broken in a cat?  is this a rarity or normal but something i've never experienced with kittiess?  dunno.....annie is a big purring ball of happiness when she is being petted.  and she loves being brushed.  she loves it like an addict loves meth. not even kidding.  if i stop brushing her before she thinks our session is ended she will lean up and into the brush the same way she leans into and under my hand for petting. she wants what she wants when she wants it.......she is truly a queen of the realm.  a regal green eyed lady.......how old are they now?

hmmm, annie was rescued from beneath a colleague's car at work late 2009, i was nominated as most likely to need a pet as my daughter was off at college leaving me with an empty nest.  annie was so tiny.......so adorable!  curious, exploring everything in her new world.....she used to jump up onto my desk in this room and sit on my arms when she determined i had been on the computer long enough.  she was usually right, i would spend a lot of time on DS and then cry from the pain from sitting too long, from typing and such.  howl through the house.......annie was a good at knowing.  she still is......sleeps near my head when i am really wonky.  sleeps at my feet when i am a more normal level of ill.  she is a smart ......she could have gotten her kitty RN.....just had a picture of her as florence nightingale complete with an old school nursing cap.......i promise annie, i will never put you in a costume.  i pinky swear......

i hope i can go back to sleep.   i hope, i hope i hope........if anyone has the gift of finding things will you please tell me where the Spot Shot is?  it's a foamy carpet cleaner......it's the one that works the best.  it was a more recent purchase, it's in a red can.....not under the kitchen sink, on the shelf in the garage, or even as a last resort....under the bathroom sink or in the master closet......didn't expect to find it there, but last night i was feeling a little desperate about it.  i will use the last of the stuff i can find, but it's just not as good as the spot shot........where did i put it?  seriously......if i find it in the refrigerator should i turn myself in........and who would i turn myself into?  that makes no sense ......i   am going to go get back in bed.  love ya......be care ful and take good care......!