middle aged meanderings
I went to sleep last night, thinking about coping to the feelings that I have versus
the way I should be..I don't know if that makes sense - but I can't always be in touch
with my feelings - but I also am fighting to be in touch with the best supportive or
stoic way to be. I think it's a struggle we face as people/humans and I think it's
maybe floating that duality in our minds with a compassionate and generous
frame of mind that we can cut ourselves and each other some slack when reacting/responding
to the input we get or create.
I'm trying real hard this morning to fill my life up - and loneliness is beating me in that foot race -
but I know I am going to write here - what I want to create - allow for creativity to triumph
rather than just 'waiting' for life to happen. I'll embrace the space around me, try to enjoy the very present and my friends
here and remind myself to build a community during the work week once we get there.
Questioning my life's fullness and I suppose legacy too - in the sense that I am looking
at the life I've created. It's just middle aged meanderings.
Sending peace and good vibes,
Mark
Replies
I discovered I was lonely in a room filled with friends and family. So, it is not being alone that brings loneliness to me, it is the sensation that I'm not visible, not felt, not included, not connected.
So, I put together a collage of pictures in a small frame that remind me of who I am, to me, that connects me with the world in the moment.
When I get the feeling of loneliness, I remind myself that I have my thoughts, my feelings, and my motion to help me move forward.
I hope this helps. You're doing a terrific job writing it out!
I’ve struggled off and on through life with feelings of fulfillment in general. I suppose learning has been my mental stimulation and fills my life with meaning when other things didn’t go as planned. Learning another language is good. Virtual museum tours. Im trying to listen to podcasts. Changing what I fill my head with, basically.
Have a good Sunday marky!
Thanks Mid! Thanks Nikki!
I have wondered a time or ninety if shoulding around is a natural attribute of all hard-core questioners. For certain, the more deeply I, strictly personal, question, the shouldier The less I know about what I should do or be, the more likely I am to question how the world around me should be.
Sigh. . .
Well should it all! ! !
should'enough - I mean good'enough :) thanks Arfie!