"Merry Christmas Mom?" Don't think so
Just received a scathing FB message from ES. Wanted to let me know that he wants absolutely nothing to do with me, I will not ever see the kids again, I need to look into the mirror because I am the monster who can't get along with his GF, he's done and I should never try to contact him. Two weeks before Christmas and I was going to send gift cards to all the kids but I guess now that's not an option. If only I knew what I did that is so terrible. AT least I was able to see the GC but not now. What has changed? I have no idea. But I was reamed up one side and down the other. Things are worse than ever. Guess this is just part of the abuse that EC decide we need every so often. We are in the middle of moving and all of that although he knows nothing of that and I need abuse besides? Guess it will be an extremely quiet Christmas. Thank God for DH and for God's enduring love.
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My heart sunk when I read this.. I can only imagine how low you feel. My son too, chose the girl over his family. I\'m so so so sorry (((HUGS))) Just believe you didnt do anything worth this treatment. Our kids are dead wrong to do this to us.
My heart sunk too when I read your message. I am so sorry. Just remember you are a good person. Let him go and pray for him. He is lost like so many others. You are not alone.
Wishing you peace in time. Focus on those you do have and cling tightly to them.
Hugs from me to you.
Onward and upward, my friend. God is your portion, and will be your strength.
I hope you have a good, if quiet, Christmas. Have some lovely food, enjoy your DH and any church services you can.
I read this in Romans today: \"Who shall bring any charge against Gods elect? It is God who justifies.\"
Don\'t you fret overly. I remember so clearly the confusion I felt when ED wouldn\'t tell me what was wrong, and then when she did, just flew off the handle. I tried to justify myself to her, and to answer her \'charges\' against me, but to no avail.
I\'ve had no contact with her for three months now, and it has been a good thing for my household, and my other kids. Don\'t be afraid to cut that tie from your end, esp after this last message from your ES.
I know how you\'re hurting, and wondering what brought all this on. There isn\'t any real reason any child can do this. Especially when they were loved and cherished.
I hope in a while, little by little, you can just tuck all this in the back of your mind and heart. And keep your son in a loving place in your mind, just not in your presence. I pray that you have peace of mind, and know you\'re strong enough to let him find his own answers and one day come back. If not, you\'ll still be a loving person and he\'ll know that. That\'s all anyone can do for their children.
I\'ll be thinking about you .. xo
I am so very sorry your ES would send you such a toxic message two weeks before Christmas. My heart aches for you. You don\'t deserve this, no matter what your \" crimes \" were. I spent a long time trying to make up for my supposed crimes my DIL perceived, and then spent some time trying to buy her love. I also genuinely apologized for things that I regretted doing. But it is clear to me now, my ES and DIL are not actually concerned about reality, it is their perceptions that actually don\'t have a factual basis, that is propelling their hurtful behaviors. I finally realized I have no control over what my DIL thinks of me, and no control over what my ES does, in relation to that. I know you are a loving and kind person, because of your messages to me and others, and my heart just aches for you, having to hear those toxic messages all over again two weeks before Christmas, when you are in the middle of moving. Just know that many of us have been scapegoated, or punished horrifically for supposed crimes, that we don\'t even know what they are. I have the un-Christian thought that my ES and DIL have a lot of gall to call themselves Christians, when they can\'t forgive or forget my supposed crimes. I do not have any grandchildren, and so I cannot imagine your pain at being told you can\'t see your grandchildren anymore. My heart goes out to you at this difficult time.
I am so very sorry for what you are going through. I must say, until I found this site I never dreamed this was such a common problem. What on earth is happening to our children? Someone once referred to an estrangement as a \"living death\" and that is so true. The only thing I can say is, I really do think they must somehow be possessed in some way. Satan has gotten a stronghold over them and is lying to them. I don\'t know what else to say except I am so very, very heartbroken for you. We all cry with you over this.
We are here for you. I know its not the same but we want you in our lives. Blessings
Thank you all so very much for your messages, concern and support. I thought things were getting better since we have had the GC on various occasions and ES has been cordial to us when we picked them up and returned them. He shared his concern about his dog\'s surgery and wanted our support. Then to write the message that I received yesterday was a shock. I really wonder if things ever really get better. This time I cut off communication. I am so tired of being abused. I thought I was making progress in understanding and accepting our estrangement but now it\'s like it has hit me all over again and I have to start from square 1 again. Your messages and love mean so very much to me. This group is one of the best things that has happened to me in quite a while. Just so thankful to God to know He will sustain us and for such a special DH who is always there for me. Hugs and prayers
You are loved. :-)
I am so very sorry! my Heart goes out to you (((Hugs)))
Sending lots of Love,Hug sand Prayers your way.
I am here for you,always! ! Love,Maria
There is no consolation for this type of inconsideration, disrespect, and abuse. I\'m so sorry you\'re going throught this. Only time can heal these wounds. Please be good to yourself because you deserve it and hopefully it will help reduce the agony a little. ((hugs))
Thanks. Knowing you care means so much. Your support helps so much. The best thing about this website is the people, your love and understanding. We are here for each other and we truly understand.
I have always suffered from low self esteem and depression. So, I try to be caring and considerate of others. Where I got this different ES from, I just can\'t understand. I probably take things too strongly but that\'s just me
There\'s no shame in having a soft heart. That is a good thing.. (hugs)
I also have no idea how my ES could have been raised by me, with the values I modeled, and turned out the way he did. My ES and DIL have engaged so much in being so condescending and judging when I react to things, or are the personality and temperament that I am. As if I change those things, being a unique human being just like they are!! I also suffer from severe depression and anxiety, have struggled with it for many years, with professional help, and my ES and DIL refuse to acknowledge my struggles and challenges. I am supposed to be what their idea of perfect is, when I never required that of them. I never required them to be perfect, and I tried to be very good with boundaries. And now they\'re just stomping all over my heart, my values, my intentions, and they want me to be in a double standard relationship, where they are always perfect, and I am always the one with a problem. It hurts so much, and is so baffling. And they call themselves Christians! My heart goes out to you, whyonlychild.