Merry Christmas 2010...
Well first of all Merry Christmas to everyone:) On to the new development. Last night after me and my H (made love) I couldn't sleep..of course he could. So at 4 am I got on the computer. With my insecurities in hand I started a new (fake) FB acct. so that maybe I could look at the OW profile to make sure she wasn't saying anything about being with my H. Well it didn't work cuz all her info is blocked unless your a friend. So as I was trying to find a profile pic for my new acct. I was opening pic's in the recent downloads on my computer and I found a new pic of guess who? At least it wasn't a nude pic. You can hover over the pic and it tell you exactly when it was down loaded. 12/7/10 @ 11:something.....While I was at work and that is one of her days off, per info he gave me in the beginning. So all the times I asked him if she contacted him and he got mad for me asking, well I guess that shows why he got mad. It was of course driving me crazy this wonderful x-mas morning. So as my H did his morning potty break, I broke down and called the OW on Christmas. She answered and I asked her to not hang up that I just needed to talk to her...Thank God she didn't hang up. I told her that I didn't want any problems and I would never approach her. I said as a woman can she grant me the least of tell me if they were still in contact. That I could not live like this and I deserve a answer so I can move on. I told her that way we would all be able to move on and if so they could be together. She said she never meant for this to happen like this. And said that this wasn't a good time to talk that I should be enjoying Christmas with my family. I told her that it doen't matter what day it is cuz I can't live like this and need a answer. I gave her my email. Told her to please send me proof that they are still in contact. I pray she will so I can deal with this and get on with my life. I don't know when I will confront my H. I will try to wait and see if she sends me proof. I love him but since he has lied once again I have to prepare myself for some major change. I don't know if I can be around him today. And there would be no excuse for that download except that he had contact with her. Plus the OW said can't we talk about this later that today was not a good day because of x-mas. Why would you say that unless there was something to say. Well remember me in your prayers so I can get threw this. Hugs to everyone:)
Replies
So sorry that you are so sad this Xmas. I believe that we, the spouses, should
never contact the OW. They are full of lies, that is way the had the A in first place, and their purpose is to make us miserable. Talk to your H, maybe tomorrow. I wish you the best. I will be praying for you. Hugs
I agree,you should speak with ur H instead of the OW because she could easily lie. Never give the OW so much power. She doesn\'t care about ur feelings if not she would\'ve never gotten with ur H in the first place. In any case, we all need to do what we think is best and I\'d that is what u think will help u then I\'m for it. I\'m sorry urXmas day was ruined. I will be saying a prayer for u tonight.
I am so sorry, Ive been there, contact went on for several weeks after I first found out and during the time we were supposed to be working it out and things seemed wonderful. When I found out I did email her, she never responded and I feel that is probably for the best. Like the others say- you can\'t be sure anything she would say is the truth. She will probably only cause you more pain. If they were honest decent people, they would have never gotten involved with our H to begin with, You do need to confront your H. Its possible he is having some difficulty fully letting go of her as mine did, I believe he did cut off all contact after that, but it has made my getting over this much more difficult. There is still a little part of me that worries, if he still contacted her when things were so wonderful and he was telling me he only wanted me, how can I be sure he isn\'t still in touch with her? He could have a prepaid phone again. I try to push those thoughts out because they are so destructive and I want to believe him. I\'m rambling on now but I just hope that you can talk to your H and work things out for whatever is best for you. I will pray for you today.
i am so sad for you. i hope you get the answers you so rightly deserve. please keep us posted. hugs and prayers your way.