Merry Christmas!
Today was a better day than yesterday. We all got along together fine and there hasn't been any fights so far -knocks on wood- and dinner was great. I got socks from my mom for Christmas, and from Joy, my mom's mother in law I got $20. I could really use the money since I'm so low on it now, and it's a good thing that I saved some from when I was out with my mom at the internet cafe. They have internet cafes here where you can legally play slots. My mom loves going to those places. I'm never any good at them, and so I try and stay away from places like that, but I wanted to spend time with my mom, so I got over it and went with her. She gave me $20 to play with, and from that I got $13, so I lost $7. I would have rather had the money to help me get home, since it looks like my mom isn't going to be taking me home, that I'm going to have to ride the train home. I was hoping that my mom would take me, but so much for that.
I'm at my mom's, my goal is to spend time with her and the family. I sat for a while talking to Joy today, and she was telling me about how she learned to get over things. I wish I could let things go like she does. My mom and I both hang onto the past so much. I'm learning to let go with the help of my therapist, and she has helped me a lot getting over my PTSD and all that not so fun stuff. I have PTSD from my dad's death, and it wasn't pretty. But this year I was able to celebrate his life instead of mourn his death. It's a good thing too, since I had to work on the anniversary of his death. I just wanted everything to be okay. Last year I broke down crying on that day, and I was at work at the time. But this year I've learned that everything is going to be okay, just live life in the present and plan for the future to be better than now.
My mom seemed happy with her Christmas present. I got her a wireless USB mouse that she can use on her laptop. She has an old computer that's super slow, and she got a laptop when we went to go see my cousins in South Carolina. My cousin gave one to her, but she couldn't figure out how to use the mouse thing in the center, so she just packed it away for now. Now she can use her laptop and I can use mine and we won't be fighting for the computer as much. I can take my laptop to the room and type my journal on there, and she can be out there playing her games. I don't have internet access in the room, but I get the journal typed and then hook it up to my mom's connection. I wish she had wireless, but you get what you can take I guess.
Mood today was good... I had a good day. I slept for a bit too long, but I've been super tired today. I tried drinking coffee, but my mom makes it weak so it doesn't help too much. My mom and Tracy have tomorrow off, so maybe we will go somewhere and do something. I'm trying not to get my hopes too high up, since she and Tracy are on thin ice so to speak. I was happy to see my mom happy with her gift, and I hope she makes good use of it. I know she's excited to be able to use her laptop, and I can help her with the file transfer from her old computer to the new one. Soon she will be able to take her laptop out on appointments and show her customers the draperies they want on the computer. I'm so glad I have a laptop. It makes me going on the train easier, since I have that distraction. I don't use my laptop much on the train, but it sure makes it easier when I have it to do my journals and such.
Food today was bad... I went over my calories, I'm sure. I had prime rib for dinner with roasted potatoes and green beans. It was wonderful. I didn't eat any other real meals other than that. I have found myself to be eating just because the food is there, not because I'm hungry. It's a bad habit to come back to, and I have to fight it. I'm trying to fight it now, since my mom didn't finish her plate and said I could have the rest. I wasn't hungry when she told me, but I've been snacking on it since. Other that that, I ate some pigs in a blanket and olives. I also had one piece of chocolate. But dinner was my main meal of the day. Stress was moderate today... I was anxious when I got up about my mom and Tracy if they were going to still be fighting, but they weren't. I'm glad. Sleep last night was okay... I had a bunch of trouble falling asleep, and then I woke up late. But I got about 12 hours of sleep plus an hour nap. Hopefully I sleep well tonight and I can be up with my mom when I would normally be sleeping. We shall see!
Merry Christmas to all!
I'm at my mom's, my goal is to spend time with her and the family. I sat for a while talking to Joy today, and she was telling me about how she learned to get over things. I wish I could let things go like she does. My mom and I both hang onto the past so much. I'm learning to let go with the help of my therapist, and she has helped me a lot getting over my PTSD and all that not so fun stuff. I have PTSD from my dad's death, and it wasn't pretty. But this year I was able to celebrate his life instead of mourn his death. It's a good thing too, since I had to work on the anniversary of his death. I just wanted everything to be okay. Last year I broke down crying on that day, and I was at work at the time. But this year I've learned that everything is going to be okay, just live life in the present and plan for the future to be better than now.
My mom seemed happy with her Christmas present. I got her a wireless USB mouse that she can use on her laptop. She has an old computer that's super slow, and she got a laptop when we went to go see my cousins in South Carolina. My cousin gave one to her, but she couldn't figure out how to use the mouse thing in the center, so she just packed it away for now. Now she can use her laptop and I can use mine and we won't be fighting for the computer as much. I can take my laptop to the room and type my journal on there, and she can be out there playing her games. I don't have internet access in the room, but I get the journal typed and then hook it up to my mom's connection. I wish she had wireless, but you get what you can take I guess.
Mood today was good... I had a good day. I slept for a bit too long, but I've been super tired today. I tried drinking coffee, but my mom makes it weak so it doesn't help too much. My mom and Tracy have tomorrow off, so maybe we will go somewhere and do something. I'm trying not to get my hopes too high up, since she and Tracy are on thin ice so to speak. I was happy to see my mom happy with her gift, and I hope she makes good use of it. I know she's excited to be able to use her laptop, and I can help her with the file transfer from her old computer to the new one. Soon she will be able to take her laptop out on appointments and show her customers the draperies they want on the computer. I'm so glad I have a laptop. It makes me going on the train easier, since I have that distraction. I don't use my laptop much on the train, but it sure makes it easier when I have it to do my journals and such.
Food today was bad... I went over my calories, I'm sure. I had prime rib for dinner with roasted potatoes and green beans. It was wonderful. I didn't eat any other real meals other than that. I have found myself to be eating just because the food is there, not because I'm hungry. It's a bad habit to come back to, and I have to fight it. I'm trying to fight it now, since my mom didn't finish her plate and said I could have the rest. I wasn't hungry when she told me, but I've been snacking on it since. Other that that, I ate some pigs in a blanket and olives. I also had one piece of chocolate. But dinner was my main meal of the day. Stress was moderate today... I was anxious when I got up about my mom and Tracy if they were going to still be fighting, but they weren't. I'm glad. Sleep last night was okay... I had a bunch of trouble falling asleep, and then I woke up late. But I got about 12 hours of sleep plus an hour nap. Hopefully I sleep well tonight and I can be up with my mom when I would normally be sleeping. We shall see!
Merry Christmas to all!
Replies
I am so glad things are calmer with your Mom and Tracy and some of the stress is alleivated for all. Bummer that you will not be driving back with your Mom and having her all to your self for a couple of hours.
What a thoughtful gift you gave your Mom. I hate that mouse pad too! Maybe a wireless will be in Mom\'s future....great gift idea for another time.
so happy to hear the fighting stopped and your stressed went down. sounds like everyone got what they wanted and needed for christmas, great idea on the mouse. it is to bad not driving back with mom, why the change?