Mental Health Hospital
I went into the Hospital for four weeks in Jun/Jul of 2018. It did help, but after about three weeks I had had enough of the restrictions on my movements and requirement to participate in the groups/activities. Coloring does not make Spencer less crazy. I was under suicide watch which required a nurse to check on my existence every three minutes 24/7. The place was like a medium security prison. I do not know if this is normal for a mental hospital and maybe someone can shed some light on that. The wing was active duty military only, and my experience may be a bit more unique (room inspections daily, a requirement to maintain military grooming standards, legal requirements to comply command updates on progress,...).
After three weeks, I lied and said anything to get out. I was still in trouble mentally and still suicidal but I feined health for my freedom. I probably needed to stay another three to four weeks, but I was going to hurt someone or myself if I remained. I wanted help but a locked ward was not helping much. Yes, I know I needed to be safe. I went in voluntarily but when I wanted to leave I was told no. So I gave them what they wanted not the truth.
I lied previously to get out of involuntary hospitalization. Again, I was suicidal but told them no so I could get released. I am sensing a trend here.
Part of the reason for the demanded early release was the need for my agency restoration. I do not suffer cages well. Secondly, and more to the first hospitalization (I say commitment), I did not want to endure more embarrassment from work or more scrutiny from leadership. Legal proceedings against me was a real threat due to the misuse of alcohol and prescription drugs.
I have rambled, but my final statement and question is, given everything sometimes and probably daily I want to be back inside. The disconnection of daily stress and a refocus on oneself is desirable. Does anyone else feel this way?
Spencer
In the Sunlight
Replies
Many people on this Board will have different stories of In-patient Psych stays, a lot depends on the level of Healthcare available in their area, if they have Health Insurance, how long their stay was, what their condition was, etc.
I will say Military Psych stays are very different than Civilian Psych stays.
I've had 5 In-Patient Psych stays over the last 30 years. When my BiPolar is at its worst, it's Suicidal Depression that results in a Suicide Attempt. 4 of those stays were for failed Suicide attempts, and the last was a Voluntary stay before I attempted Suicide.
I've been In-Patient from as little time as a week to as long as 3 months. 2 of my stays were back in Texas and were shorter stays and were fine. Typical stomach pumped, charcoal in, get medically cleared, 3 or 4 days in the Psych unit to get meds stabilized and go home. The other 3 were here in NC, they were longer, 2 because it took longer to get medically cleared and a little longer to get Psych clearance. I started mixing Suicide methods when 1 didn't do the trick. The last was for 3 months because I had become completely med resistance in my then 21 years of BiPolar and did ECT to get back to a point of stability and medication viability.
The Hospital that I use here in NC is part of the University of North Carolina medical system. The Psych Ward has several floors, separated by Disorders. There aren't things like overcrowding, rooms are private, you don't get stuck with other people. The Dr.'s and nurses are there because they want to be there and they work very well with the patients. I've never had a bad experience with any of the staff. This is also the same Hospital I use for all my Medical Crap, 31 Surgeries in the last 20 years, most of them here in NC, at this Hospital. I don't get treated any differently on either side because I'm BiPolar.
When you go in on a Suicide attempt, you do have a "watcher" while your on the med floor, and they do stay in the room with you 24/7. I just act like their not there. On the Psych floor, your just not allowed to close your door and your belongings are checked thoroughly before you get in the room, so the don't check your rooms each day. At night the doors can close, but someone does check in every 15 minutes until you get cleared as Stable.
When I went in Voluntarily for the 3 month stay, I didn't stay on the "suicide" floor, my Pdoc didn't want me around that kind of stress all day, so I stayed on the Eating Disorder floor. It was quieter, patients who were mostly teen girls/young women were calmer. They don't force you to do activities, just group Therapy once a day and see your Individual Therapist once a day. After 2 weeks I was doing ECT every M,W,F so there were only 2 days, T, Th, that I really felt like doing anything. My kids came in the evenings and on the weekends and I was free to go out in the Gardens or Cafe or whatever as long as I stayed on the Hospital Campus.
Having said all that....people who go in with Psychosis or Schizoaffective Disorder or are heavily Manic are likely to be treated more aggressively when In-Patient, because they are usually more aggressive. So their experience is likely to be very different.
Like I said a lot of it depends on your situation, why your there in the first place and what type of Facility is available.
All in all, I think you're going to find that Civilian Psych care in all is very different than what you received in the Military. The Stigma that the Military places on Mental Health issues, won't be present in Civilian Pdocs/Therapist/Hospitals.
Thanks for the info and the insight. We could not close the doors at all and you were watched even doing your stuff in the bathroom and shower, with nearly all female minders. The room searches were through and you pretty much had to refold anything you brought which was not very much. I was also fully and completely searched when entering. I think I was supposed to buy the nurse dinner afterward. My clothes were searched for just like you on entry. I wore sweats for pants and had to cut the strings out. I still have those pants and call them my "crazy pants".
I didn't want my wife to see me, so I told her not to come. I was ashamed of where I was and I think that I still am. The military places a very big stigma on mental health, and then they wonder why suicide is seven times the national average in the military. I feel guilty for going.
Yeah its not easy trying to manage a Mental Illness and be in the Military, the 2 are not compatible and they do not make it easy for you....your treated like they want to get rid of you, but they don't make it easy to transition out either. Its a screwed up system.
It will probably take you some getting used to and take you a while to actually trust your Pdoc and Therapist, but I would think it will be a much better experience and much more helpful experience than what you've had to deal with in the past.
The no strings in sweats and no shoelaces, jewelry, etc. is standard for any Psych stay. You can't haven anything you can hurt yourself with. It defeats the purpose if you do more damage to yourself In-patient than you did before you got there. I had a nurse on one admit who wasn't quite as thorough as she should have been and left a gold ring on my finger, a very thin gold ring that went into a point like an arrow....I did quite a bit of damage with that ring. So yeah, they have to be thorough, because when your brain is in that "don't want to be alive" mindset, it's not good.