mental health challenges and relationships
i've been discussing with my therapist and very much beleive
that when you have mental healthy challenges
there is a characteristic of having a hard time establishing meaningful
relationships. I say that now as I realized this a while ago and I have
fought to have a relationship with others in my life.
I also have to tell you that this difficult sense of relationships also
applies to the relationships with ourselves. I think the fleeting
or difficult relationship we have with ourselves sets a
coloration to our experiences with making and maintaining relationships.
The sense of core relationship in a sense can be off because our sense of personal core
is off. Anyways - I just wanted to offer this to you guys.
I had a tough phone call today and for some reason after it - I felt totally unworthy
of my relatinoships (when I read through an email.)
I'm definitely fighting for the worthiness I have for and the appreciation of them.
I think sometimes I can also look at relationships with a sense of a dual
'perfect question' and 'perfect answer' - whereas for me it's really a good think about
looking through a lense of 'that we're all just people...with all sorts of emotions
and things going on.'
Replies
Relationships are hard, whether there are mental issues or not. I don’t know how to crack through the ice of getting to know new people, let alone romantic interests, because I feel people are generally pretty sanctioned off into their own dealings and sets of experiences.
I stay very active and I am “social,” but nobody really knows me I feel. I’m definitely worry that this is the future and I am in the processes of adapting to my new reality!
Mental health challenges are tough but shouldn’t be the end all of everything. Makes me wish people could just start off new “getting to know you” stuff by just being real about the issues they deal with.
Hang in there Marko. You are not alone.
Thanks Nikki!
i'll second nikki's assertion that relationships are hard across the royal we. i often believe they are easier for me BECAUSE of the intensive psychotherapy it took/takes for me to recover from child sex trafficking. recovery has required levels self-understanding mentally perfect people do not even need to be aware of.
Thanks Arfie, it was a ‘broad brush to paint with’ and I do feel too that I have in some respects a lot of psycho stuff to help me understand people. . Maybe my vantage though for being at a loss when things don’t go well intensify a sense of disconnect. There’s so much dynamics in relationships. I’m grateful for the relationships here and this site. I’m grateful for all my relationships but here there’s a special understanding.
Making friends is hard for me. I have a hard time with small talk and sharing with people. I'm working on it by getting involved at my new church, but it is slow going. I've had social anxiety for years and am just starting to overcome it slowly. Some of it is because I was in a mentally, verbally abusive relationship with my ex husband. My parents also didn't communicate well so I didn't grow up with communication skills. God is helping me and I'm grateful for that.
disconnects happen, father grasshopper. kinda like when ds hits one of its glitches and sends me unexpected places. those disconnects rarely need analyzing. refresh and keep going.
to my own sensory perception, the relationships here are but a single node in the healing network. wherever i build my relationships, time, patience, disconnects and special understandings are the ingredients which build the bond. be gentle with all parties and patient with the process.