Men SUCK
I feel really sad right now. This dude I used to work with when I was a lot thinner got in touch with me. And btw- A LOT thinner. Anyway- he texted me and said I still look good, etc. And Of course I responded with- "even with the weight?" He said yes, that he didn't even notice the weight. Um- BULLSHIT! But it was obviously said to make me feel good so I just thanked him for saying it.
He stopped by my office the other day. He was very stand offish and even though I sat on the couch he sat on the chair. Odd- after him telling me how good I looked via text. But whatever. So then he leaves and I'm thinking "okay well that was what it was." No chemistry, no intimacy. But he texts me all these compliments afterwards- why???? He did the same thing today. Gets here and I feel NOTHING. Why man??? He sits across the room from me. Then I ask him to sit on the couch with me b/c I had to tell him something and he sits on the other end of the couch. Mind you- he was talking shit about giving me a massage, etc. via text. WHAT THE FUCK????
I just hope he doesn't text me. If you're gonna act uninterested then bounce. I don't know if he actually felt interest- I'm gonna say he didn't b/c of the way he acted BUT the same thing happened this Friday and an hour later he's texting me all this shit. God I loathe inconsistency. I just fucking loathe it.
It makes me question myself. The second someone acts inconsistent to me it's like in my head I am what made them act bad. Like for instance- when dealing with inconsistency- someone can be hot/cold. For me- if at any point they act hot then when the cold comes I just assume its my fault. Like it must have been something I said or my weight- that's a big one- I ALWAYS blame it on my weight.
Then when he's leaving he said the word "prerequisite" and he commented on the fact that once and a while he says big words, he doesn't even know what they mean- he just uses them. I'm in a profession where thinking is what I do- he knows that. I feel like that statement about "prerequisite" was him telling me that he does not find what I do attractive. I hate men that make me feel bad for being smart. Fuck that shit man. Being intelligent is not a fucking character flaw. I was feeling so good today and I was looking forward to seeing him. Then he comes over and acts all cold. Now I just want to take a fucking nap. And Douche is coming in tonight- so I should just go. I know he'll be able to smell the weakness on me. He always can.
He stopped by my office the other day. He was very stand offish and even though I sat on the couch he sat on the chair. Odd- after him telling me how good I looked via text. But whatever. So then he leaves and I'm thinking "okay well that was what it was." No chemistry, no intimacy. But he texts me all these compliments afterwards- why???? He did the same thing today. Gets here and I feel NOTHING. Why man??? He sits across the room from me. Then I ask him to sit on the couch with me b/c I had to tell him something and he sits on the other end of the couch. Mind you- he was talking shit about giving me a massage, etc. via text. WHAT THE FUCK????
I just hope he doesn't text me. If you're gonna act uninterested then bounce. I don't know if he actually felt interest- I'm gonna say he didn't b/c of the way he acted BUT the same thing happened this Friday and an hour later he's texting me all this shit. God I loathe inconsistency. I just fucking loathe it.
It makes me question myself. The second someone acts inconsistent to me it's like in my head I am what made them act bad. Like for instance- when dealing with inconsistency- someone can be hot/cold. For me- if at any point they act hot then when the cold comes I just assume its my fault. Like it must have been something I said or my weight- that's a big one- I ALWAYS blame it on my weight.
Then when he's leaving he said the word "prerequisite" and he commented on the fact that once and a while he says big words, he doesn't even know what they mean- he just uses them. I'm in a profession where thinking is what I do- he knows that. I feel like that statement about "prerequisite" was him telling me that he does not find what I do attractive. I hate men that make me feel bad for being smart. Fuck that shit man. Being intelligent is not a fucking character flaw. I was feeling so good today and I was looking forward to seeing him. Then he comes over and acts all cold. Now I just want to take a fucking nap. And Douche is coming in tonight- so I should just go. I know he'll be able to smell the weakness on me. He always can.
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