Memories Of Nick

Dear Fred:  Nick has been gone now for four months.  Tonight I would like to write down a few things in his honor.
Four months ago today a very brilliant and wonderful man had his life cut short. What is so ironic is that he did nothing to contribute to this.  He lived a very healthy life style.  He never smoked. He ate very little junk food. He usually ate  healthy. He didn't take over the counter medications. He exercised and was very physically active. He loved life. He loved his work. His workmates loved him. He was not over weight.  He had a very positive attitude about life.  The only thing that he might have done differently is not believe his DR. who told him twice that he was just having bladder spasms when in fact he had bladder cancer.
Nick was no Saint.  He had quite an ego.  He was a very intelligent person.  Actually many time he was referred to as being brilliant.  I believe he was.  He knew he was.  After his death I found old new paper clippings from England. They were all about Nick while he was still in high school.  He had made quite a stir due to his exceptional abilities in science and mathematics.  He received a FULL scholarship to Cambridge University where he graduated with a Masters in Math. So, he had a reason for his ego.
He also was stubborn.  In fact, he was extremely stubborn.  This caused more than one bump in our 22 years of marriage. He also was pure scientist in his thinking.
He hated to spend money.  Our first real fight was about whether or not I could buy a broom to sweep our floor with.  Later he walked back to the store & got it as our old broom was very worn out. Later the "broom fight" became one of our funniest memories we shared. He also became more lenient with spending but was always on the tight side of "thrifty".
No, he wasn't perfect.  Our marriage wasn't either. But, I can tell you, he & I had such a strong bond neither of us ever really understood it.  Others could sense it. And, it was real.  It kept us together through thick & thin. I was never sure that he loved me.  But, I knew I loved him with every part of my being.  I also knew that he was as bonded to me as I was to him.
Nick was an atheist. He was an interesting person to live with due to this.  Even though he was an atheist he was one of the most truly kind and honest people I have ever met.  He had a true kindness of spirit that you very seldom see.  He was not kind or honest because he was working towards some Heavenly goal.  He was kind and honest because that was truly what he believed a person should be.  He never turned his back on a person in need. He respected and loved nature. He gave freely to organizations to help his fellow man & to Humane Societies for the animals we share our world with. He never minded when I rescued 3 box turtles and he helped me to rescue 5 homeless cats during our years together.  It was his true inner kindness that I loved more than anything else about him.  (The fact that he had really good looking buns and a great singing voice didn't hurt either.)
He & I hiked together, fished together, took long walks together, held hands nearly all of the time.  He read me bed time stories.  I brought him coffee in bed. Two of our favorite places were Yellowstone Park and Moab, Utah.
Nick was my special companion and soul mate.  I cannot imagine life without him.  I miss him all the time and will always wonder why he had to suffer so and had to leave so soon.  
If I could tell him, I would tell Nick that I love him not only with my heart but my soul as well.  I love his kindness to others, his respect for nature & his love for his fellow creatures.  I told him while he was still here & I would tell him again he is the bravest person I have ever met or ever hope to meet in my life.
Nick, wherever you are, I love you.
Good night, Fred.
Darlene   07/28/2011