memories

A few days after we brokeup I deleted all the pics of him from my phone and laptop. Kept all the vacation pics--just moved them to the cloud so I don't keep bumping into them. Today I realized I have 3 pics of him on my Kindle--2 of him sleeping on a bench in the airport during our layover in Iceland when we went to England in April. I cherish that trip. It was after I found out about his "cyber woman", but we didn't have phones, laptops or any of that with us. I brought my Kindle so I could read and we could get internet if we needed. We were almost back to our old selves without all the phones and such. I knew he wasn't communicating with her, so I didn't get knots in my stomach from seeing him on the phone and thinking he was texting her. We could relax, and we had a great trip! After we got back home it started all over again and the tension was back. I wish so much we could just get rid of all the technology and just be us again. The other pic was taken on the ferry on my birthday vacation last year.  More happy times.

I decided to keep those few photos. Along with the sim cards of photos from that trip, and our trip to Ireland 2 years ago. He also, a few years back, gave me his claddagh ring. He'd bought that when he first went to Ireland around 1990. I remember (we were dating at the time--then didn't see each other for 23 yrs) when he got that ring, and it meant a lot to me that he gave it to me. I bought him a different one to replace it--I'm guessing he's still wearing it--he's not the sentimental type. I have these things (the sim cards and ring) in a tiny box which I wrapped up and put in the lock box I keep important papers and such in. 

I remember our first trip together after we reunited after all those years. We went to DC for the weekend, and he took a selfie of us in front of the Washington Monument--it was windy and my hair was blowing all over the place. He loved that pic--it was the wallpaper on his phone for a long time, then he changed it for a Christmas theme. He said it was because of his Santa/christmas business, but I wonder if he was starting to drift away then. He never put it back. No wallpaper after Christmas.

I'm missing him so much today. I wish we could be us again.