Memorial Day... A Sorrowful Day

Everyone, this day is one of the hardest days of the year for a veteran. We see this day to remember our fallen comrades. Those that never came home. Many knew the faces of fallen, many of them worked for you. Many of us would go to a national cemetery to place flags or read headstones. We had Arlington close by for the last four years; it was so quiet and solemn. It was like all the sounds of life could not penetrate the cemetery's walls. I heard the silence when running by for a daily run or at the end of Marine Corps Marathon. But you know the headstones. I have wandered the rows.

This is not a joyful holiday.

I have used the poem below to quote from when I wrote "The Letter." I have done this a few times. Talk about something being hard and soul-wrenching. How do you sum up a life in a page or two? They were your responsibility, and now they are in a box waiting to go home. In the gloom of the night, you stand watch over a fallen friend.

In writing the letter, I often quote from a poem called "The Watch." It is Navy centered, but it is an appropriate source for The Letter. In the poem, the sailor stands to be relieved and go to shore forever never to take a watch again. Being piped ashore signifies that you are leaving and that those left behind have the watch.

"Today we are here to say
'Shipmate... the watch stands relieved
Relieved by those You have trained, Guided, and Led
Shipmate, you stand relieved.. we have the watch..."

Boatswain... Standby to pipe the side...Shipmate's going Ashore.."

This day leaves me very remorseful and guilty. Why I survive and others did not? What could I have done better? This all feeds my depression and PTSD.