med change

So I'm taken off celexa and put on wellbutrin. At the last psychology appt., doc senses I may have been conditioned this way by my own family. Yes, my mother was abusive. My brother and sister were also abusive towards me. They all blame me for it because what was I supposed to do. Everyone eventually fights back. I was the one that got punished for fighting back. Just how am I supposed to get better. So far meds are not helping and I doubt that any will help. They think that cognitive behavioral therapy will work?.....It never worked before, why should it now. All I want to do is to go to sleep and to never, I mean never wake up. Ya, reading and hearing my own words here hurt. I can't do that to my daughter, so I live in a cruel and hurtful life. I do not feel that I belong in this life time. I am the living dead and really want to be left alone. Yet they don't find that normal and are pushing me to get out around people more. HAHAHAHAHA, sorry everyone but with the way my entire life has gone.......I don't like people; I don't feel safe around people. I truly believe that it is people who cause us to be mentally ill, so why do I want to subject myself to even more hurt and pain. Everyone who has told me they care and are a friend are full of (I believe you know what the next word is here.) As for the physical pain from the DDD, osteoarthritis, Arnold chiari malformation etc. They tell me physio again and physio does absolutely NOTHING for me. What a joke. They tell me to strengthen my core. Ya right.....any more strength I gain from the waist up will make me start to look like a bodybuilder. I find bodybuilders to look absolutely disgusting. I feel as though I am losing my mind. I can't help which thoughts pop into my head. It all poses as a dilemma for me. A serious, severe dilemma. It's not fair I should have to live this way, yet there is nothing I can do about it right now. Sorry, This is how I feel, always have. It's not my fault.