meaningful life
I have been thinking about living a meaningful life
outside of the monastery and within it as well.
I've been looking at he two sides of it -
I think people find their meaning in different ways,
in different ways their lives unfold or wrap up.
If I had kids - that would be a way I would take meaning
and great pride in my life and life's work -
at one time I collected craft art and fine art- and indeed
it gave me a sense of peace and beauty and passion and goal -
but it was solitary - and although that's not a bad thing
I know now - of greater realities in my life as an aging man
what priorities and depths I now have (as well as lack of income)
that would be very difficult to reconcile the life I once had
to now without stuff and the life that would present itself outside
of the monastery if I were to live elsewhere on my own.
some people like me find their meaning in service -
in a life of and in community - and spirituality as well -
and my amazing cat...
I have thought about how no matter what I do - whether
within the monastery or outside of it- I take my spirituality
and 'meaning in life' with me - and I feel stabilized in that
it's not any lesser or wanting of 'should be's" any longer.
Replies
when did i start agonizing over "the meaning of my life?" i don't really remember, but methinks my first agony as a child prostitute was, "please let the meaning of my life be greater than serving as a public toilet for perverts."
there are days that agony still plagues me, but the progress i have made since the early 70's is fodder for the sin of pride. still, new agonies have arisen over the meaning of my life to the people around me. to the people who hired me as their token EEO hire, i was? ? ? something different to just about everybody. to my 44 year old homeless addict, i am the toxic mom responsible for the wreckage of his life. to my departed son, i was the hope of stability for his troubled children. to the people who don't want to see 3 more orphans lost in the foster care system, i am super grandma, able to leap tall social injustices in a single bound. to the random questioner passing by i am ? ? something different to just about everybody.
sigh. . .
do we get to declare and record the meaning of our lives in our own words? doesn't feel like it to this beaten crazy bitch wolf. more and more, i just let that mystery be while i follow mother teresa's advice and just do what is in front of me. the meaning of life is in living the life which is yours to live, up close and personal, first person singular.
Beautiful Arfie!! Thanks!