Me & the Public School System

Basically equals Yuck!!  I have to go for a "team" meeting about my son.  This makes me feel a little bit like they are "teaming up" on me!  I have had one of these before...
...where I feel like I have to explain that maybe I AM a bit non-conforming, but I am an anthropology major afterall - and well, I can give all the sociological and psychological reasonings for my ideologies!!
What do they want me to say?  That I think these ridiculous "punishments" (which as far as I can see have absolutely no effect on my son whatsoever, but require me to drive 20 miles out of my way on a Saturday) are worthless and that my son would do much better with fairness and positive reinforcement.  Or that, their educational system sucks and does not promote free thought, educational exploration or an excitement to learn??
Should I have to explain Asperger's to these people and that over the last few years the kids' dad has been incarcerated, I remarried (and to my son he finally had a great dad - damned Narc - NOT), divorced, and that the kids also transferred from being homeschooled to public school, in which case my son was bullied until he finally grew a foot taller than every other boy, that he feels singled out and unfairly targeted and that they need to go back to Psych101 because negative methods ARE NOT GOING TO WORK!!!
I am really trying to balance that life is life and sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and deal with some b.s. with my absolute agreement that this school is the worst school I have ever experienced in my life.  My daughter is a compliant, good student with good grades (over-achiever) and she HATED it and had difficulty there, as well.  My son - AHHH - it has been an absolute disaster.
This is the school that my daughter wore hijab to and the principal told her she would have to remove it if she couldn't give proof that was her religion.  Good for my daughter that she asked him if he would like to call her mother or for her to repeat her shahada for him right there!
In fact, the last "team" meeting was on eid at the end of ramadan, so I went dressed not only in hijab, but in a really nice, dressy abaya and they asked me about it.  I ended up having to educate these "educators" on what ramadan was, why we fast, and exactly what the eid holiday is!
Okay - I have vented in hopes that it will help me maintain during this meeting because I am a little afraid of my ability to keep my cool.  Now, to keep on my sleep schedule so I am not also groggy and cranky at the same time - I'm off to bed!!

Replies

pageo
pageo

Yep, educating the educators. Sorry you have to work through this. It comes up for any one that does not fit into the BOX because ignorance simply exists every where. Some institutions are worse while others are better or how ever it can be tritely put.

Getting educated to be a teacher or a principal doesn\'t include the real gift it takes to be a leader or teacher.

It sounds like they don\'t know how to deal with your son and that your son is having difficulty because of , yes divorce and also lacking a healthy father figure.

I know for me and my little brother ... he was outwardly reactive to the break up of my parents even though in reality my father was is not a healthy person and not the right person for the job.

Brother was always in trouble. Of course the teachers he had were morons... not psychologically fit to deal and the school system was narrow But at the same time he was reacting to that as well as the dysfunction of the home. Mom working going to school, absent father.

I think a father figure for a boy is more important then for a girl. Girls can get by but boys fall apart.

Take Care and good luck with the meeting.
raniagale
raniagale

I am really frustrated at this point. I have spent the last two weeks working through this issue. My main frustration is one of the teachers emailed and asked my thoughts and how he could be better motivated. I sent more than one email in response with no reply whatsoever. I then emailed a response to the principal who had also emailed me and I specifically asked to work with the school counselor and for info on available programs here such as a Big Brother program or something similar that I think would be good for my son\'s motivation. No response. The only response I received a week later was their concern for my son disengaging academically and his physical and mental well being and that they could not be lenient with any rules, as it would be unfair. Urgh, I asked for communication and help since I AM an overwhelmed single mom - not leniency of their precious rulings!! And yes, I will do some breathing exercises before I go in :)
pageo
pageo

Your point is definitely understood on this end. Frustration and or anger about this is understandable. I hear you. i deal with this at some of my jobs where rules come before actually doing something intelligent that will be effective.

sounds like they don\'t want to really engage / motivate to deal with your son on a individual level. They just want you to know that he is breaking rules and you are responsible to get him to stop. Very limited approach to working with children/young people. Not really a supportive environment.

I suggest you find another avenue to search for a big brother. Maybe what you do with son out side of school will answer to his motivation.

So yes, be prepared to talk to people who have not a lot to offer. I would consider how you are going to help your son with out looking at the school as a medium.

The school wants a child that will fit into their agenda or structure. They do not want the job of helping him emotionally. that seems clear to me in what you write.

This is how stuff begins. I have listened to radio shows and read how the system begins creating kids that eventually go to the dark side so to speak.

What I find ridiculous is that the education system is not built for real life instead it is an institution, not fluid and not to educated. HA!