Maybe this is the End....?

   So...I've had 7 days of feeling Normal, and I've enjoyed every minute of it.Have been actually energetic since I've adjusted my vitamin regime (have to remember to update the info in the "Recommended" section).   Started my period; had some cramps and a little bloating, but I'm crossing my fingers that it doesn't get any worse. I really don't care if I continue to bleed or not; I just want the gastrointestinal distress, the backaches, the anxiety, and the depression to stop (ESPECIALLY the GID). I'll take the hot flashes, the dry eyes and skin, hell, even the urgency. But the damn GID...may it never return.Oh, well, if it does, I've got my crystallized ginger and instant miso to tide me over.   Another thing I'm trying is my grandfather's "Oh, well, what are you going to do?" attitude. Up to now, whenever I wake up feeling Bad, I also got really ANGRY, and on top of the symptoms, I'd be pissed off or drown in  "WHY ME? WHEN WILL IT END?" . I'm sure that this has to do with feeling powerless about the situation, since there's not a little pill or one type of tea you can take, go to sleep, and wake up feeling better. I have to realize and accept that there's a point where I CAN'T control it. All I can do is ride it out. And it's hard, accepting that you're going to have to forgo whatever you've got planned and whoever's company you want to be in for who knows how long.    But this last episode, bad as it was, was not Horrible. I believe this is because I just accepted it; I said "Oh, well, here we go. Okay, family, it's happening again. Make your own dinner, don't ask or expect anything of me until it's over.I'm going to my room" and I refused to feel guilty about the house not being clean or not working on the comic strip.    Another thing that was different: a week earlier, I had gone to my gastrointernist, who took some tests tomake certain that this wasn't pancreal or colonic or anything other than menopause. Then I spent 3 days in the desert with the family eating cheeseburgers, hot dogs, and ice cream, listening to the coyotes, and not only did I feel good, but I continued to feel good, which wouldn't have happened if this gastrointestinal hell was anything other than menopausally induced (besides, the only time I'd get it was when I was experiencing other menopausal symptoms).  So, unlike other Bad Episodes, which were frought with hypochondria (what if it's colon cancer like Grandad had, or cervical cancer which killed Mom?), this time, I KNEW for sure it was just the damn hormones.    And that put me mentally at ease, thus enabling me to ride out the three days.Oh, I cried. And felt miserable in almost every sense of the word. But I KNEW that it was hormones, and that it would go away. Which it did.   As I said, that was 7 days ago. Maybe tomorrow I'll be here, holding onto my abdomen, tears running down my face, venting like a mad woman.                                                       But, then again, maybe I won't.