maybe
tonight i tried to sleep but couldn't. really dark thoughts kept happening.
i wondered about juxtaposing the way i think during the day to how i think
when it is just me alone at night. i think there is a pattern. I usually try to fit in
during the day - I really struggle with that - and when I am alone - I think instead of
having that outward like thought - the benchmark to achieve - all that energy goes towards
making myself or outlooking on myself as unfit to fit in - or just unfit -
I think I need to honor my feelings and experience.
I am looking forward to going to work tomorrow.
Replies
Excellent. You're looking forward with an occasional back glance...how I respect that about you. xo
If you can accept yourself during the day, you can do it when you are alone at night. You just need to learn to let your mind rest. One thing I did was start with positive self-talk. I was so negative all the time, I made myself miserable. I wrote down positive affirmations and scriptures from the Bible that were uplifting for me and read them daily. It helped a lot. You can find free affirmations online. I think doing that might help you honor your feelings and experience.
Honoring my feelings is essential in the yaddahs of my personal blahs. When I get lost in looking for patterns and generally trying to justify and/or talk myself out of them, they seem to turn into mercury blobs that fracture and spread at the slightest touch. When I honor my feelings, they coalesce into shapes I can work with, or at least keep on my awareness radar.
I salute your feelings, Mark. Process well.