May 18th

Today I found that I feel anxiety about every little thing, my clothing rotation, jewelery rotation, the location of my stationary, not even beginning to mention homework jobhunting social life and general life prospects. Most glaringly, the passage of time itself in the day brings me anxiety. As the day draws to a close I find myself scurrying feeling like I must get things done, and also trying to figure out what I'll do with my free time before bed. It always feels like there's so little, so I find it precious to the point that I worry about it. All the anxiety just makes me want to go to bed early anyway. 

I can do this. But not forever. My mental state hasn't been the best lately. I had a breakdown earlier in the day, pent up stress and depression I hadn't acknowledged. I can tell that this is going to continue until my circumstances change. It just feels like there's little I can do to permanently remedy the situation besides continuing to taking care of my body and working on my work-life balance (mainly working on my ability to work).